Loser Girl

Smoothie Madness

2011-11-30T22:07:00.000-08:00

I'm having a smoothie every day now as a meal. And I'm liking it. That is all.

Turkey Weigh In

2011-11-26T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well I weighed myself on Thanksgiving and I was 175lbs. Only 2 lbs short of my goal! I got distracted in the last 2 weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, and I also was sick for 2 weeks, so I'm ready to face those pounds now. Just in time for more holidays:)

So. New goal. Bringing it down to 170lbs by my birthday, late January. And here is how I'm going to do it:

Back to at least 3 runs a week. I love it, and I think I want to try some longer distances and interval training. A great way to ramp up my runs is taking my friends dog with me. He could go for 20 miles and still want to chase after balls.
Make more of my own food. I have become really lazy in this area. My bike got stolen a few months ago, and the bike I am borrowing is just not as comfy to ride, though I am super grateful to have it. This means less trips to the grocery store. Time to move my ass.
Keep on doing Pilates. I seriously love that Netflix Instant Queue has workout videos. And now my roomie is doing them as well! Woot for her!
Limit the drinking. This is hard to do because I love meeting up with people in bars and going to Improv shows. And I always feel like such a schmuck for taking up space in a venue without buying anything. I guess I need to be okay with being a schmuck?

I also am trying to incorporate smoothies into my life. I think if I committed to those being one of my meals every day, I could cut back on calories and fat.

And one more thing.

No more straight up fried foods. Specifically, fries and tator tots. I have finally figured out that when I eat those things, my stomach rebels, and I have a really hard time sleeping. Go figure. I thought it was wine that would wake me up in the middle of the night, but it's fries and tots. Which sucks, but I'm done with the bellyaches, so it's time.

Hope all y'alls winter seasons are starting off right!

Favorite Season Moments.

2011-11-09T18:05:00.001-08:00

I love fall. I really really do. I feel more energized with the cool air, and for some reason we have had a few crisp fall days a week here in Portland, which is odd. Usually the word to describe autumn here is: damp.

So what have I been doing in the past month? I've been running more (except for 2 weeks when I was sick and blerg). I've been eating a wee bit less. I've tried some recipes that could be defined as "healthy." I'm feeling good.

Oddly enough, I have stopped with my food journal. There are a few reasons why I did this, though it was not a fully conscious decision. I like getting into bed and falling asleep right away. I like not having to remember every bite I take. I wasn't looking back on my journaling, so I wasn't learning from that retrospective.

The journal is in my bedstand, should I ever need it. For now, I'm working my ass off so I can weigh in and be proud in 2 weeks.

Holy crap, only 2 weeks to Thanksgiving!

Time to find a recipe for pumpkin cheesecake....

Weigh-in Day!

2011-10-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

So I weighed in on Saturday, goal being 180lbs. Solid. I felt rocking. I had been on top of it. active, limiting food amounts, good to go.

The good news is, I lost weight!

The bad news, is that I lost half a fricking pound.

181.2lbs.

DAMN.

I had even done retail therapy instead of calorie therapy on my particularly sucky Friday. So. Let's see how long I can be a positive Polly about this. I still lost weight! And I feel healthier! And I feel skinnier! And I had a great 4 mile run on Sunday!

!!!!!!

But I also really wanted that number to go down. I really want to wear smaller clothes. And bras. And just be less of me. And not bigger than all my friends. And sometimes this really really really really sucks.

So I guess everything is the same?

That's all I have today. I'm sorry it's not more fun. For fun, please check this video out. Yeah, she's awesome.

Dance Dance Revolution

2011-09-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

I JUST WENT TO ZUMBA CLASS AND I LOVED IT AND WANT TO DO IT ALL THE TIME!

It was super duper fun. I haven't sweat like that in a LONG-ASS time. It was every where, even my calves were sweating. My runs do not achieve that. Ever. And I don't get to shimmy on my runs. or swing my hips.

Classes like that are why I miss being a member of a gym, but I just can't afford the monthly fees right now. I can afford to do it once a month though, so that will suffice, along with runs, pilates videos, and the odd hike/danceparty.

In other news, I am dogsitting right now. Cowboy is an australian cattle dog, and would be happy walking every 2 hours and running after balls for "down time." Meaning, I am exhausted, but feeling pretty darn healthy from all of our excursions. As a matter of fact, I shall now make a bold statement about weight loss. I'll bet myself, and you, and the interweb, that I will weigh 180lbs this coming Saturday (that's my next chance to weigh-in).

And now I'm off to eat chocolate cake for lunch (don't judge, it's that time of the month and I will be walking cowboy before and after....seriously, let me eat cake...bad joke....and scene.)

Lazy Tuesday

2011-09-20T21:20:00.001-07:00

NOT.

For serious, I feel like I have in "go" mode for the past few weeks. Not necessarily in the exercise or health department, but in life at large. And I really would rather surf the internet than post anything, but I know that's for another reason entirely.

So let's back up. 2 weeks ago I decided to lose 9lbs by Thanksgiving. I chose that amount because it was, at the time, 11 weeks until Thanksgiving and I wanted to set an aggressive yet achievable goal. So then I weighed myself and ....

182lbs. Okay.

Up from the pretty 178lbs for my cousin's wedding. Shit. Anywho. The point is to lose 9lbs from that weight, so goal is 173. Let me write it one more time so you hear my conviction and terror nervousness sheer determination.

173

I have made a really specific goal list for how to achieve this. It includes things like: run three times a week, try barre 3 classes, buy 5lb weights, try one recipe a week that is low-cal/low-fat, cut back on eating at work. I'll share more details coming up, but let's quit stalling and get to my reluctance to post. I weighed myself last night at my parent's house and was a wee pissed to see that my weight was 181.8. I've lost .2lbs. Is that even a real number? Does that count? Damn straight it does. One step at a time. Next time it will be a solid 181. I got this.

Though it would be nice if this all magically happened and I was magically about a size 8 (One day folks, single digits will happen for a pair of jeans. And I shall wear them for one day and then cast them in gold to display in my foyer. Assuming I have a foyer. That's still up in the air.)

Love is more than a word.

2011-09-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

Warning: extreme cheeziness ahead.

Love is action. It might be the same action over and over and over again. It might be new actions that help us grow, or familiar actions that comfort us. Love is a dynamic activity that we take part in, not just words to say, but words and feelings to live by.

I am learning to love myself. I am working, every damn day, to believe in myself. And it takes more than just words. The words help, of course, but actions speak louder than words(blogs the list maker, goal pyramider, writing major). Say you will run three times this week, and then RUN THREE TIMES THIS WEEK.

I'm trying to regroup my weight loss plan. I'm reading articles, outlining workouts, writing down goals. But none of this planning will mean anything if I don't go through with it. I need to actively dynamically care and love myself. I have to do. Run. Eat. Cook. Pilate-tate?

These thoughts came to me on a run I did earlier this evening. I wasn't excited to run, work had been rough, it was hot, I felt fat and tired, and there was an opportunity to go see a movie in an air-conditioned theater. It was a rough choice. And tonight, I chose action. I chose to love myself. And it feels good.

Last thought: Sometimes my runs are prayers. Sometimes I am running for more emotional than physical reasons. I can find a mantra, a hope, a goal to meditate on while I pant and sweat. I can only hope the universe is paying attention:)

More Specific Goals

2011-08-29T23:31:00.001-07:00

So I realized something as I was flipping through a 3 year old fitness magazine. I've stopped being specific in my fitness/weight goals. Sure, I said: I want to be under 180lbs by my cousins wedding(I totally was, thankyouverymuch). And I want to say: I will be under 170lbs by Thanksgiving.

But HOW will I do that? Running? Trying to eat healthier? Drinking less? These are phrases I can think and say. They sound nice. They sound easy-ish. And that's what losing weight is if nothing else. Easy.

Bwahahahahaha! Yeah, no.

I recently saw a goal pyramid on Pinterest that inspired me(Please forgive me for not pinning it or tracking down the pictures, it's proving to be difficult). It was structured something like this:

I will run a 5k in December.

I will run more than 10 miles every week.

I will strength train.

I will run Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.

The Sunday run will be a long run, the Tuesday an interval run, Thursday is my call.

Mondays I will do a weight lifting class at the gym.

Fridays I will do pilates and free weights after work.

I will buy myself a new sports bra the week before the 5k.

I really like this structure because it doesn't just list the goal, it lists how the goal will be achieved. It specifies the kind of work needed, and gives a structure to achieving the goal. It's also encouraging to see a reward at the bottom of the goal pyramid. It doesn't have to be buying something, it could easily have been, "feel like a badass for running a 5k." Whatever you want to give yourself.

I'm working on constructing one or two of these. And I think I know the top of one of them.

I will weigh under 170lbs by Thanksgiving.

I did it! Sorta..kinda.

2011-06-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

My salad challenge is over, and while I did not even out to 2 salads a week for a month, I did eat 10 salads in the last month! So Let's celebrate by looking at my cool pictures of some veggies!

Nummerz! Yes, I did just type that. I liked attempting this goal so much, I'm doing it for another month. Hopefully that, combined with running and pilots workouts from Netflix will keep toning me down. And of course, rocking out to this fabulous song my sister put on her blog.

(Did I mention my sister has a blog? It's fabulous, funny, and she posts multiple times a week. Yes, I am admitting my sister rocks at something I have proven to be completely mediocre at. Not the first time. Damn your talent Kelly!)

Lettuce entertain you...

2011-05-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm eating salads!! This may be a basic part of your usual day, but it's new for me. I like roasting and sautéing veggies, but summer is coming (so beat it grey clouds!), and this "cool" veggie concept is yummy. I just finished the salad you see above. Lettuce, carrots, and leftover chicken. Simple. Delicious.

I made this salad a few days ago. Mine looked less like spaghetti and more like erratically sized barkdust. For the record, YUM. I will eat any veggie combined with lemon, olive oil, parmesan cheese, and toasted nuts. You just can't go wrong.

This salad was inspired by this recipe. I was too impatient to make the dressing, but I used panko for the first time along with shredded coconut and made a bomb tropical salad. (You can't see it, but there is pineapple in the salad above.)

Three more weeks of salad land folks. Here we go.

Salads are boring.

2011-04-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

That's a lie. They aren't boring. I actually just ate a delicious salad for lunch that included: spinach, almonds, strawberries, grilled chicken, cucumbers, and mushrooms. Problem is, I didn't make it. My roomie did.

I just don't feel compelled to make salads. For whatever reason, I prefer cooking/baking. It's easier. Cheesier. Gooey-er. But summer is coming and my lazy ass needs to get in groove again.

So here is my proposal. I will make salad for dinner twice a week for the next month. No repeats. New salad combos every time. It's a personal challenge. That means I need to buy some spinach STAT.

I also need to start looking for recipes other than the glorious ones found at SmittenKitchen. (I want to crawl into all these pictures, hide in Deb's kitchen, and steal...) She is still my go-to-gal for recipes, but her salad section is not expansive enough to keep up with my lighter taste. (fear not Deb, you will continue to be my favorite...I just need a break. From this. And this. And this. It's not you, it's me. And my belly.)

Lucky for me, I have a FABULOUS younger sister who linked me up with Gina's Skinny Recipes. She is a mom on Weight Watchers. All of her recipes are low cal, have nutrition/points listings, and look delicious. I think the first salad recipe of hers to try will be the Coconut Chicken Salad with warm Honey Mustard Vinaigrette. Only 397 calories, and I already have most of the ingredients on hand.

So there is one goal. It feels odd to be back on track again after derailing so badly. I weighed myself on Sunday at my folks' place, and I am actually back up to 198lbs. I swore to never go above 200 again. And I won't. Salad land, here I come!

And 5 months later...

2011-04-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

I thought I would pop in. To whatever random folk still glance at my blog every once in a while, sorry. I know. Months.

Honest Update.

I weigh 196lbs.

Holy moley. That is a weight gain, in case you were wondering. It is one I have recently truly started to rally against. I am umcomfy at this weight. 170/180 is the zone I feel good in, and right now I just feel flabby. I haven't blogged because there was no good news. Except for...well...ummmm.....

I ran a 15k!

That is 9.3 miles, in case you wanted to be impressed. I am. I am regrouping, recyking*, and reworking my life to lose weight again. And I will be using this blog again to help. So tune in every once in a while, and I promise to actually post schtuff.

*watch "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," and thank me later. I don't care that it is a kid's movie, just do it!

I need more floor.

2010-11-10T14:43:00.000-08:00

I really want this rug. It's the Gislev rug from ikea, it's only $19.99. Only problem? I have no where to put it. No need. My cup runneth over with rugs, in fact, because there is a large rug hanging out under my bed right now, rolled into a slug.

But isn't she beautiful?! I love graphic prints, and the color gray...seriously, it's so cheap! This is such a struggle for me. I am at the point where I don't really need anything for our apartment. One or two storage solutions could be added, but truly, we are set. Where is the fun in that?

Last week I was feeling the decorating/painting/crafting fire within, and I decided to paint our entry-way table blue. Not just any blue, mind you, but the beautiful dark deep turquoise blue that would match our dining room table and makes me think of New Mexico and the ocean. I took it to my parents' house (we don't have a space for projects like that), took out the hardware, sanded it down, primed it....and.....uh...wait a tic....I could've sworn.....where is that blue paint?

No sh*t folks. I can't find my paint. I've been looking for 4 days. Everywhere. Nada.

My blue paint has gone undercover. Which is frustrating because 1)it was going to match, 2)I wouldn't have to spend any money on this project, and 3)it was an oops paint. One of those gallons that didn't turn out just right that you get for cheap on a metal rack at Fred Meyer's. So I can't match it exactly. The injustice of it all!!

However, if my biggest problem right now is finding a new paint for an entry way table, my life isn't actually that bad:)

Have you ever started a project without all the materials/tools, and realized it halfway through?

A few of my favorite things right now...

2010-10-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take this time to share with you a few things I am loving. Like this new blog. And this English house tour. And as ever, this video.

Other what-not that is rocking my socks. right now includes:

My family dog in a cone. She is not amused. But I am!

This adorable glass lamp at a vintage shop. The shade would need replacement, but I love the peach color, and the clear glass look. I tried to echo that in a rather failed project I will post about later.

Jacket and tunic at Kohl's. My awesome friend Mandie used her 30% coupon to help me get the tunic, but the jacket has yet to be mine! I love fall and the clothes that accompany it, don't you?

Three bowls I got for someone's birthday. The are simple, classy, and you can use them for a variety of uses...it's a wonder I even gave them away, when they looked so good on my car seat next to my fabulous flip phone:)

Roasted tomatoes with garlic. That tray is mine!

What are you loving this fall season? What's making you happy this week?

Pasta and Pudding...and sharing clothes.

2010-10-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I just ate my weight in pasta and pudding. The pasta was whole-wheat with homemade roasted tomato sauce, so that, I don't feel too bad about. But I really need to invest in more desserts to have on hand at home, otherwise I begin making huge portions of random things, usually involving chocolate. And then my tummy hurts.

But in other news. My roomie adn I recently had a party! It was a ladies night in, and we asked our friends to bring any clothes or accessories that they wanted to get rid of to trade! Basically, we laid everything out on the floor and furniture, and then people just tried on things that hit their fancy bone. The below picture is us with some of our new styling clothes.

(did I mention we asked people to wear fancy dresses they probably couldn't wear anywhere else? I mention this in reference to the dress I am sporting...also, I was baking cookies, and the apron made me feel sexy:)

It was great for folks to get some new pieces for their wardrobe without having to spend any money! Later the same week I took a huge tupperware container to Goodwill of the leftovers. What do you do to save money on clothes?

Jamie Lee Curtis rocks the house!

2010-10-07T09:19:00.001-07:00

I just read an article from Good Housekeeping about Jamie Lee Curtis and her epic house organizing/cleaning, and you so the same here. One of the highlights of visiting my parents house is reading Good Housekeeping, Better Homes and Gardens, and More. Do I have the tendencies of a 45 year old woman? Yes. But along with those classic magazines, I also love more modern forms of home inspiration, like Young House Love, or Apartment Therapy. That makes me not quite middle age, right? Right?

But back to Jamie Lee Curtis. Her organizing tendencies go way past what I am able to handle, but one idea in particular that I liked was her kitchen storage. She keeps staples, like flour, sugar, etc, in big tupperware containers instead of in their original boxes/bags. This means they stay fresher longer. And you get to label things. And it just looks so darn organized in similar tubs! I just recently cleaned out my kitchen cupboard, but I'm thinking about taking another go at it, and trying some of her ideas. Although I might need more than one bin for chocolate....

How do you organize in you kitchen? Do you buy in bulk or go for the name brands?

Changes in the weather, and in my blog.

2010-10-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

It's my favorite season of all! And since I'm not headed back to school or starting a new job, I'm making a change or two in my own life to keep it real y'all.

And this blog is one of them. For a while...okay, months, this blog has lost importance in my health life. I was stressed about other things, I couldn't concentrate, or was too ashamed to write, and it fell apart. I think with the move and my life becoming more full of family and friends and things to do in Portland, I had less need/time for a blog dedicated to something that was no longer as important to me.

Does that make any sense? Basically, this blog is no longer a weight-loss tool for me. But I still love writing, and I have been reading other blogs to keep me inspired. Not only weight-loss blogs, but also budget and home decor/DIY blogs. And I think that might be where this blog is heading...so stay tuned:)

Roast that tomato!

2010-09-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. it would seem i have been rather absent. no matter! I have been roasting tomatoes. Not all summer of course, but for the past week, and I am perfectly sure that I could consume an entire pan fresh out of the oven. Without even sharing with the roommate who is coming home in only a few minutes....resist!

I am at the same weight I was at 5 months ago. Yay mid-80s! It does put into question my goal weight of 154lbs. I don't know what to do about this. Well, in fact, I do know what to do, but I don't know if I want to do it. Or if I can.

I feel stretched thin. I still have two jobs for god-knows-what-reason, and friends and family I like to spend time with. So finding the hour to go running and plan healthy food and care about losing weight doesn't take precedent. Do I realize that taking that time might help me in other areas in my life? Yes. Am I human, and therefore full of choices that don't always make sense? Yes again.

I don't ask that you continue reading my blog after my dismal writing attendance. And I can't guarantee that I will write better from now on. But I am letting you know that something will happen here, ever so often, and I will let you know if I randomly lose 30lbs:)

the sun has arrived!

2010-07-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

It's finally sunny in Portland. THANK YOU GOD! I've been less hungry during the heat, but there is one problem with summer...ice cream.

Okay, it's not a problem exactly, and I'm a year-round ice cream eater no matter the weather....but i'll be damned if the sun dappling through the leaves into my window doesn;t make me think of fudge ripple...or half-baked...or the entire Ben And Jerry's section in my local grocery store where pints are on sale for 2.27.

It's bad. I want it all the time. But I do have two things looming in the future that are (kinda) keeping me in check. 1)the wedding. Specifically, the bridesmaid dress that is a size 14 and fits me! Woot woot! I could be a little smaller and fit better, but at this point, I'm all for maintaining and having fun! 2)my run! It's coming up and I need to train in the heat and push myself to be sore more often.

Good luck to you all in your enjoyment of summer!

My bike is a b*tch.

2010-06-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have named my (2nd) bike Millificent. She is a witch. Yes, I ride her every day. Yes, she functions. Yes, she holds my water bottle and rolls and has handlebars.

But she also gets flat tires, broken spokes and kaput brakes at least once a week! Gah!!!

She's not really awful, it's just been interesting learning how to care for my bike in a "i-need-this-to-get-to-work" way, instead of an "it's-time-for-one-of-my-yearly-rides" way. I bike to both of my jobs. It's about 3 miles between my apartment and either job, so I'm riding 5.5-6 miles 6 days a week, in addition to a random hike and run that I throw in. I've been too busy to go to the gym, and who wants to when it;s actually sunny outside?

I haven't weighed myself for a wee bit, but I think that will be a more regular occurrence after a shopping trip tomorrow:) gee, I can't even imagine what you would be buying...

Have and excellent middle of your week! Good luck on all your fitness goals!

my dogs are tired, yo!

2010-06-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

Update:

Ran 3 miles on Monday.

Hiked 5 miles on Tuesday.

Biked to work and did an abs workout at home today.

Woot woot!

I also ate pretty darn healthy through all of that! My goal of this week is to drink less. Still drink, but not every night, and only a bit. It's crazy how many calories are in beer.wine.liquer. Darnit:)

THIS BLOG

Let's talk for a moment about this blog. It is changing. For at least a while. When I first started it was a fantastic place to share research, results, and kept me focused. It has been hard to stay motivated the last few months, and the blog has suffered. Sorry.

The next month is busy for me because my bff is getting married soon! The one awesome one whose wedding I bought a dress one size smaller for...egads! So for the next month, I will be doing pretty basic update posts. I know it's not much, or very exciting, but at this point in time, it's what I need.

So. That's all. I am pumped about my sore legs and feet. And about the dress. And of course, this season of shorts, and skirts...that I get to participate in:)

Kayaking in the Rain

2010-06-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

It's raining in Portland right now. I don't know if you knew that. It's been raining for about the past three weeks.

"Wait, isn't it June?"

Yep. Yep it is. Still raining. I love Portland, I love the Pacific Northwest, and I love rain for 8 months out of the year. But for pete's sake, this is supposed to be one of the beautiful four!

Despite the drizzle, I went kayaking today! I have been twice before and LOVED it, and it was so much fun to go with a good friend who knew what they were doing! I learned a lot, I saw 3 bald eagles and 4 hawks, 2 blues herons, and a partridge in a pear tree....okay, not the partridge:)

I also biked 11 miles! It's been a busy day:)

I weighed myself today and found that I am at 183lbs! Sweet! I'll take it! (isn't it funny how different we weigh at different times of the day? Like, If I weighed myself right now I would be about 185lbs, due to the amount of cookies, fruit, and sangria in my belly...yum)

So in an effort to take another look at my health/diet/nutrition, I am reading "Why French Women don't get Fat." I read a little of it about 2 years ago, but I remember giving up early in the book, when she suggests a weekend of drinking leek broth....not really my thing. And I still don't think that's my style. But she is presenting some good ideas in a palatable way, so we will see what happens. I'll keep you updated on the reading, my weight, and this wonderful journey we call life!

(Also, I'm thinking there should be a book out there called "Why Irish-American Women don't get why Beer isn't a Food:)

Priorities, Runs, and Pictures, oh my!

2010-06-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

So I went on vacation three weeks ago, and it was fantastic! I went to Washington DC to see my little sister graduate from college, and soon my brother will be graduating from high school! Woot for them! The picture above is me looking cool in front of the White House. That was the day I rocked the Austrian Maverick look:)

Actually, those shorts are the first women's shorts I have owned in a while. I usually go for guy's shorts because they are longer, don;t hug my body, and come with many handy pockets:)
This epic picture is of my room mates and I at the Shamrock Run. Did I mention that one of my room mates is in a pipe band? Oh yeah.

I was thinking about the Shamrock run recently, because (drumroll please) I am signing up for another run! I need a goal to work towards, and so I will be doing a 8k at the end of July.

Now. Time to regroup.

I was looking at my calendar, trying to see how off track I have gotten. This plateau (mostly self inflicted) has hurt me. I am wounded sir, but not dead! Wouldn't you know it, there are 30 more weeks in the year, starting from today. I haven't weighed myself for 2 weeks, but I am assuming I am hanging around 184. So that gives me 30 weeks to lose 30lbs. Step by step.

My weight has taken a back burner to other life events. Such as: my promotion. I am now in a new cafe, in charge of people who have been barista's far longer than I have, and working a completely different schedule. Stress is high and routine is gone. But it has been 3 weeks, and I think I am getting used to my new schedule.

So now I know that while I don't have energy to make food after work, I can make more complicated stuff in the morning. Like quiche, or a pasta salad for later! And then when I come home from work late in the evening, I should just eat fruit and a small serving of carbs/protein. Not the sweets and fats I crave...like the 2 doughnuts I just ate.

Have I mentioned bingeing tendencies? It mostly involves sweets, but lately I just want to eat, and once I start, it is hard to start. Nothing really fills me, and I know it has to do with stress.

So. New job. New boss. New schedule. Car broke down. Still no romantic life. Working 6 day weeks. Wanderlust is setting in.

I was talking to a friend recently, and found myself saying that my 20's feel like survival. I wake up, survive without any major bodily harm, try not to hurt others, come home, sleep. And I consider that a successful day. I am stressed. But working on it.

Thanks for still reading, and for inspiring me. I'm coming back, and am excited to get on this journey again!

So I really want a doughnut...

2010-05-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

really really really badly. I have been so hungry late a night recently. I think it has something to do with my new hours of employment. Quick update on that front. I was promoted(yay!) at my barista job and have been training, moved cafes, and am doing more closes than before. I still have a secod job, with limited hours...we will see if I keep that one after the summer. Having 2 jobs can be a wee bit stressful.

Anyways. I went on a run yesterday! It took me longer than it used to to run 3 miles, but I did it! I think I am signing up for a 10k at the end of July to motivate myself.

The problem right now is food. I love food. I have bingeing tendencies with it. I also really crave food late at night now. HUge amounts of it. All I want right now is rich desserts and fried food. Like a huge burger. BLAST! What do you do when the cravings threaten to overtake you?

This is it.

2010-05-24T11:04:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning and thought, "enough."

Enough of the sloth, enough of the plateau, enough of the bingeing tendencies and shitty food. Enough of the stress and putting myself 2nd. I'm back, I'm looking for a 5k, I'm eating healthy, and it's all going to be okay:)

Words of Wisdom

2010-05-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

So I was just reading another blog: Prior Fat Girl. Jen is an example of a definite success in the weight-loss world. She has lost and maintained, and has kept a fantastic blog the whole time! Her most recent post (read here) is about quitting.

Well, not so much quitting, but finding the right "program" for you. Weight-loss is a matter of trial and error. A technique that works for someone else might not work for you. Or a certain regimen might work for a few months, but then life changes and what was working isn't working anymore.

Which is the limbo I have been in for the past 2 fricking months. I did the 5k in March,a nd since then it's roller-coaster city with my weight-loss. I make goals, I ditch them, I make rules, I break them, I eat well and then like shit.

So what's the problem? I currently weigh 184lbs. I've lost 60lbs(yay!). This weight is familiar to me. Not ideal, but familiar. I am not estatcic about 184, but it means I can fit into some larges instead of x-larges. It means I am not huge. But I know I can do better.

I think my motivation needs to be found again. Why am I doing this? Why is it important for me to lose 30 more lbs? Why not just maintain and rest easy? Where's the push going to come from to motivate me?

BMI - mine is about 30. This puts me in the overweight category. Now, I know BMI isn't everything. It doesn't account for the size of my bones, muscle vs. fat, or my boobs:) But it is an indicator in the health scale. And I would like to be lower.

Mental Health - I'm happier when I'm physical. I am less stressed, and I am more confident in what I am doing.

Summer - Tank tops, shorts, and swim suits. Yep. Oh joys.

It's time to reconfigure folks.

Topsy Turvy

2010-05-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

So life has been a bit busy on my end. I got a promotion at one job (yay!), have started trying to date, and been helping plan a wedding:) All good stuff, but it's keeping me busier than I truly want to be. Right now I am maintaining at about 185lbs. Not ideal.

My eating is pretty awful most of the time because I am too tired to prepare and make the effort. I have been biking to work more, which is good because it means I do actually exercise almost every day. It's funny though, my mid-section is still flabby-ish, but my thighs are rock solid:)

What I am excited for is this: I am going on vacation. FINALLY! I had a 3 day weekend in January, but other than that I have not had more than 2 days in a row off since August. There are many reasons for that(I needed the work, I wanted to save money for moving out of my parents' house, I was new, wanted to make a good impression) but lately I am realizing I need at least one day off a week for sanity.

My promotion guarantees me more hours at a higher wage, so I am hoping to phase out my other job, or at least cut hours back to 8 a week. I need time to exercise every day. I am happier if I am active. Which is why I plan to be active on my vacation!!

I'm on my way to DC for my sister's graduation, and I am pumped. Even the thought of riding a plane has me excited. I see travel as an excellent time to reflect and read and take stock. These are things I need to do with my life right now. How can I be physically and mentally happy? How do I balance? How can I live on less? How come chocolate is so freaking good? You know, questions like that:)

Okay. Here goes.

2010-04-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all of your comments on my previous post. It's hard for me to blog when the news isn;t good, because it's admitting that I am human and that I fail.

So here is the update: I weighed in this Monday at 185lbs. That is a pound gain from last time I wrote about a weigh-in. On the one hand, it's only one pound. On the other hand, it all starts with one pound. I am reconsidering my goal of weighing 175lbs by June 1st. I need to focus day by day right now.

On the good side of things, I am being more active again. I went running on Monday, and on Tuesday Kristi and I went on a 7 mile hike 3000 feet up a mountain. BAM! My legs still hurt, but it was an ass kicking that was worth it.

And maybe there is the key. Pushing myself is worth it. Challenging myself is worth it. I am worth it. Thanks for sticking around, and stay tuned for more positive posts:)

Here's the deal.

2010-04-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

I binged today. Like I did yesterday. I got off work around lunchtime, and picked up fast food on my way home, more than I needed, and sat on the catch eating it guiltily until every last fry covered in ranch was gone.

Not my proudest moments. Not my healthiest moments. I have been in denial about the last two weeks of health. So I haven't been food journaling. It's just because I'm busy. I haven't been working out consistently. I'm busy and tired. Great excuses really. Fantastic.

I'm don't know the answer. I am tired, and frustrated, and ready to stop trying. DAGNABIT!

I'm sorry my first post in a long time is like this. I wish I was reporting success and courage to you, but at this moment, that is not the case.

Not great. Not bad, but not great.

2010-04-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

These are a few of my favorite things...

2010-04-02T18:37:00.001-07:00

My new shoes. Asics, GT2150 Trail Running shoes, grey and green. They hug my feet, comfort me, keep my feet stable, and are actually made for running, unlike the cross-training shoes I ran in for 3 months. And I got them 40% off! They made my 4.2 mile run today delightful...even though it was windy...and raining....and I was gassy....too much?
My food journal that now has room for emotional bullet points. You would think I would be fantastic at keeping a journal, what with me blogging and majoring in english/writing, but alas, I am not. So bullet points are my attempt. And it's working. I'm regaining focus, and getting to sleep faster! Woot for sleep!
Fruits and Vegetables! I stocked up at the store this week, no skimping. I would rather have fruit at hand for snacking than other stuff, and I can add frozen veggies to pretty much anything.
Odwalla SUPERFOOD drink. It's green, tastes pretty nummy, and makes me feel healthy at the beginning of the day.
Books. I know this doesn;t have to do with weight-loss, but I love books and reading. And yesterday (my first day off from both jobs in 10 days), I read something that resonated with me. I'm rereading it, and making notes, and then I will share it with you all.
This video. I smile every time. Every time.

I'm almost back in the game

2010-03-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

Rapid fire of updates, and then we will go more in-depth: I weigh 184lbs, food journaling is mostly back on track, focus is resetting, and I have another goal in mind. Get it? Got it? Good.

Weigh-in

So I weighed in at 184lbs last Wednesday. This is a 1/2 lb loss from my previous weigh-in, but I don't think it's a good loss. With my huge exercise break, I lost a lot of muscle, which weighs more than fat. So while I have lost a 1/2 lb, I am flabbier than I was 2 weeks ago. So yay, but time to move on. I do not mind a pound gain in the next week, as long as I am back to resistance training.

Food Journaling...

makes a difference. I REALLYREALLYREALLY need to stick to this. I did a lot of drinking and eating in the past few days, and I have journaled most nights, but not all. It seriously takes less than 5 minutes, and makes such a difference.

Seeing my food intake on paper helps me understand what I have done (for good and for evil:). If I had a camera, and could do a photo food journal for a while, I'm pretty sure my eating would change starting yesterday. Sometimes I don't even look at the food/portion I am consuming. That's not just unhealthy, it's unenjoyable. AND I LOVE FOOD. So enjoying it is essential.

Focus

I had none. And I am slowly gaining it back. I've been stressing out about some other areas of my life recently, and my health is suffering because of it. I actually didn't realize how much I have on my plate until right now. Work, family, friends, love life, money. These things enhance my life, and bring stress to it. I think to begin getting a handle on my life again, I need to take some time to journal and reflect. Life is always in transition, and this is just a series of waves that will rock my boat for a while. I will not be capsized.

Goals

Food journal every night. Really, not that difficult.
Emotion/event journal every night below food list. Nothing huge, just a recap of the day and a chance to write out a few bullet points on my mind. I think this will help me regain my focus.
Figure out a plan for food. I haven't been doing great shopping recently. I run out of food faster than I see coming, and then I end up grabbing things to eat...which doesn't always end well. I have a good handle on breakfast, so I think the next step is lunch. It's time to figure out what I can make easily, that is healthy, and that will truly fuel me for work. What do you do for healthy lunches?
I am thinking of running a 10k or a half marathon this summer. BAM! That's right, I wrote half marathon. Betcha didn't see that coming! I haven't decided which one yet, but either one will push me. The only reason I am even considering a half is because I would be fine with walking 1-2 miles of it. If I did the 10k this summer, I would want to run the whole thing. I am holding off on deciding which one I will do for a at least 2 weeks, so I can see where I am physically.
I'm going to put a goal out there. Here it is. I would like to weigh 175 by June 1st. That's 9lbs in about 8 weeks. I think I need to do a jump start again, focus on resistance, running, and proper fueling of the body. Also, I miss feeling like a sexy beast:)

So that's that. I am trying and trying and trying again. Thanks for the support along the way, and happy Monday to you all!

Shit.

2010-03-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

(am I allowed to type that? Too late.)

I haven't worked out in 9 days.

This morning I ate 3.5 breakfast pastries.

I have only food journaled 4 times in the past 12 days.

I have not weighed myself in 13 days.

Shit.

After a victory like my 5k at the Shamrock Run, you would think the "winning" would continue. Instead, I feel directionless, bored, tired and a little befuddled. What exactly am I working towards? What's my directive at this point?

Having the run to train for inspired me, and kept on a fantastic track for 6 weeks(except for when I was a cranky-pants). Now it just feels like a long stretch until my ideal weight in December. Which I won't get to if I continue my current habits.

Blast and wretch!

Here's the plan stan. I'm going to bed. Because I work in 7 hours and I need my sleep. Tomorrow I am going to take a good hour to look through some work out plans, possible fitness goals, and runs in the area. I am also weighing myself.

My body is not as strong as it was 8 days ago. Funny how that happens so fast.

Dagnabit:)

I shamROCKED that run!

2010-03-16T16:56:00.001-07:00

I RAN A 5K!! Sunday was the big day. I got up uber early after a night of "carb-loading" (translation: mexican food and doughnuts....good stuff) and put on my hot pink spandex pants. Registration was full, there were thousands of people walking around in crazy green outfits and race numbers.

It was exciting to be a runner. I had a timer chip, a colored bib, and my handy dandy underwire sportsbra! I wasn't nervous until it began, but I quickly became okay with being passed by everyone. I didn't even notice the mile markers until mile 2, so I was in a good place mentally.

My time was 34 minutes, about 11 minutes a mile. I like that number. What's funny is that I have been running for 42 minutes straight for the past week so when I got to the finish line, I still had energy. I could have continued running. Me. A runner. Crazy.

I'm proud of myself, and ready to find another goal to work towards.

Dude!!!

2010-03-11T22:52:00.001-08:00

I've lost 59.5lbs!

Current weight: 184.5lbs.

Current mood: happy.

Current earrings: wooden slugs.

Current drink: water from my camelbak.

Current wish: if I write it, it won't come true.

Happy day to all:)

More like Hip-NOT!

2010-03-09T22:04:00.000-08:00

What I will be doing veryververy soon...except in a bed

My heart is broken. Shattered. My feet cannot find their groove. I've got the rhythm of the world inside me, and nowhere to let it out. Remember last Wednesday? I was pumped about a certain hip-hop class?

Here's the deal. My 24hour doesn't offer a hip-hop class. Ever. Apparently the internet and the sign outside their group class door are incorrect. My disappointment was great. My sorrow was wide. Luckily, my friend Meghan was there to cross the sorrow in a boat built for two...with beer.

That's right. Instead of working out, we went and got a pint. There was nowhere else to dance at 7pm on a Thursday! And we are both early workers, so staying out late is not really appealing (most of the time:). Thus, beer was the obvious runner-up for exercise.

So I am working on finding another dance outlet. One that doesn't cost much. But is more than my living room and Pandora on loud.

Mental Mush

My brain has been fried lately. The filing system is out of whack, and everyday I have to re-group, re-do, and re-focus. So my eating and exercise has been a little sporadic and varied. I didn't work out on Thursday, Saturday or yesterday, but I did a 43 minute run on Sunday(oh yeah Kristi, I lied...it was for our own good! She thought we only went for 40 minutes! Mwahahahaha!) I am also low on groceries, so I am grabbing at food.

Never good. I was thinking about how much I spend on groceries, and I was concerned that I was spending too much. But then I realized a few things.

I don't eat out a lot. So it makes sense that I spend more on groceries because I am making most of my food. The budgets balance out.
I buy good healthy food. It's worth the money I spend to have yummy food that is good for me. If the alternative is ramen every day, I'm happy to spend.
I am saving money in the long run. If I was eating really un-healthily/out a lot, my health problems would be bigger in the future....as would my medical bills.

The money I spend on food is an investment in myself. It is an investment in my body, my health, and my happiness. I love making meals! I love food! I don't go to the movies a lot or pay for cable, but I do spend time creating tastey yum in the kitchen!

Speaking of the kitchen

I just wanted to let you know that I made brussel sprouts on Friday again. For a group of people. Who like good food. I was really nervous about their reaction to them, but brother, those sprouts were gone in 2 winks of a coal miner's eye! (Anchormansoundtrackreference)

Time for this chica to snooze before her Wednesday weigh-in! Happy Tuesday to all, and to all, a goodnight!

(My 5k is this weekend! I still can't believe I am running! Neither can my boobs! God bless underwire sports bras!)

Rambles and a Picture!

2010-03-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

I want to apologize for not giving y'all more photos to gander at. I don't know if I have shared this, but I don't have a camera. I basically break all technology around me, and so the fact that I have a computer that is still functioning after 5 months with me, is FANTASTIC. So I put a little pic at the top for you to enjoy. It's my brother, sister and I at the beach over Valentine's day...aren't we cute?! (yes)

I am really excited about tonight. Like, really, really, uber, and totally excited...because I am going to a hip hop class! What what! That's right, I'm about to bust a beat on the group class floor at my gym(probably with a whole bunch of other white gals:).

I have been wanting to have more dance in my life. Not just random dance parties to my Irish Pandora station, but slightly directed dancing. Who knows, maybe I will start a breakdancing group one of these days....no really, how cool would that be....I am such a nerd.

Anywho. I weighed in this week at 185.5. That's a solid 1lbs loss from last week! I can't believe how close to 180lb I am. So close. And from there it's a short 5 weeks to 175. And then one day I might break below 170 for the first time in my adult life. Awesome.

Can you tell that I'm not so cranky anymore? I allowed myself some cranky time, and then pulled out of it. I used to push bad feelings down. Fake a good mood, pretend, and smother the bad. The problem there, is that the bad isn't gone. It's still inside and boiling.

This journey I am on is not just about losing weight. For the first time in a long time, I am expressing my struggles, fears, wins and loses. I am exposing the bad feelings so I can change my behaviors. And I still get cranky. But I feel healthier in mind, knowing it's okay to be down, because I will go back up...I think that all makes sense.

Thanks for listening to the ramblings, and have a fantastic Thursday!

Cranky Pants

2010-03-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

It's Monday. I have a balance of really great and slightly sucky in my life at this moment. And this is a moment where I'm letting the slightly sucky dominate. I'm cranky and sore, and I want my life to be a BBC Jane Austen mini-series. Where is my Mr.Tilney?

Anywho. That's where I am at the moment. I had a great weekend, as evidenced by the sweet picture of me above. My mom, my dog, and my roomie Kristi went on a hike in the Columbia Gorge with me! It was a gorgeous day, and Girl Scout cookies might have been consumed at the top...maybe:)

I love being outside. I think that is one of the reasons running is going so well for me. It guarantees me fresh air and a chance to work out whatever is cluttering my mind at the time. I challenge you to exercise outside this week, sans media. That's right. Take out the head phones, give it a try.

Weigh-in

Good news! I weighed this past week at 186.5! That's another 1.5lbs lost! Exclamation points! I felt relatively confident ordering a bridesmaid dress this week in a size smaller than what I tried on. The wedding is not until the end of July, so if I continue losing a pound a week, that will be another 21lbs down from where I am now. (I know I will continue on my plan. I know I can do this, and so I blocked out the doubt in the bridal shop worker's voice when I ordered a size smaller. I don't care what she's seen before. I'm not losing weight for the wedding, I'm losing it for myself, and I know I will continue to work myself and eat healthy. So in your face lady!)

I'm nervous for tomorrow's weigh-in. Probably because I ate three batches of nachos yesterday.

Did I write that outloud?

Shit.

Yep, it's true. I nixed dinner and noshed on nachos after my hike yesterday. I would never regret nachos, but three batches might have been pushing it. Maybe all the salt makes me cranky! Maybe I'm just cranky. Good thing I am running later, I'll pound it out on the pavement. A happy Monday to you all, hope you are feeling good and ready for the week!

That damn slope

2010-02-22T22:14:00.000-08:00

I've slid a bit. And by a bit, I mean a lot. I think the real low point was this afternoon as I sat on the couch stuffing my face with crap chocolate slightly melted in stale coffee while watching Faerie Tale Theater with Shelley Duvall. Of course, that was after the burrito, cheesesticks and goldfish late Saturday, and the (other) burrito, swedish meatballs, and midnight chocolate chip pancakes.

I fell hard. The best indicator that I am not eating well is when I don't food journal at the end of the day. I don't want to face the truth. What's funny is that I have been doing great with exercise and training, but food late at night is my downfall.

Sitting with crumbs on my belly while watching Matthew Broderick be Prince Charming, I knew I needed to pick myself up and start the day again. I took a long run after a nap, and it was a perfect cure. I've been eating healthy for the last few hours, and am feeling on the up and up.

We all need different things from a diet. Some people need a strict plan, others need general guide lines. What works for me is making my own food. In the kitchen I am in charge, and can do whatever I like with portions, and oils, salt and sugar. I don't like depriving myself though, so when I go out to eat, I don't look for the low-cal option, I look for whatever sounds tastiest, and then try to resist eating it all right then. Having a small budget makes eating in a better option 95% of the time, but this weekend I ate out 4 times, and that took it's toll.

I have been working on making a budget for myself. I think I need to keep my health in mind when I factor in a restaurant and drinks amount. Then I can save money and my health!

In good news, I am pretty sure that I ran over 3 miles today! It is my week to be running 35 minutes straight, and the last five usually involve me panting and slowing down, but daggummit, I made it to 35 minutes straight! I think....I might....be becoming....a runner? Weird. Here's hoping my boobs don't disappear!

Everyone needs to go about "dieting" their own way.

Let your love open the door

2010-02-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had an excellent day/weekend of loving and living! I was blessed to spend Valentine's Day celebrating my grandmother's 75th birthday with my whole family. (not much time to think about being single:)

I feel so blessed (there is that word again) to have my family. They support me, make me laugh, and know how to throw a darn good open house! We had family portraits taken, and I felt good about myself. If we had taken these pictures a year ago, I would have pretended to feel good about the body/face/double chin on everyone's mantel, but now I actually do feel good about my current body being immortalized.

Losing weight has helped me appreciate my body. I will never have a flat stomach. I have veins and moles and scars and acne(dammit!)....but I can move. I can stand for hours I can run for 30 minutes straight. AND I can fit into a size 16 bridesmaid dress at David's Bridal. It feels like I am finally inhabiting my body. Blemishes and all, this is me. Worrying or stressing will not improve my life. Freaking out about a scar in the middle of my forehead or the cellulite on my ass is only interesting for about 2 minutes. Then it's time to move onto actual living, doing, and moving.

I write this now, knowing that there will be days when I forget. Moments when I want to eat and sit and criticize. I will have this to look back on.

Weigh-in

I weigh 188lbs!! I have officially lost 56lbs. That is how much a bushel of shelled corn weighs...random?

So what am I doing that is working? There are two things that I think have been contributing to my recent success:

Planned Exercise. In training for my 5k, I have committed to running 3 times a week. This is non-negotiable. In addition to those runs, I am doing 2 resistance/weights workouts a week. I'm not going to pay for a membership to 24hour fitness unless I am using it. My life was missing resistance training, but it's back, and I am excited about getting stronger! And I get to choose a random activity 1 day a week! This could be dancing, or going on a hike, or....well...I don't know. But I am going to try a hip-hop class soon, and at some point I will try pilates:) So to recap: 3 days of running, 2 days of weights/resistance, 1 whatever, and 1 day of rest. The routine really helps me focus, and I can see the results!
Using the 80% rule of eating. To me, this means I eat really healthy and moderately at least 80% of the time. I shoot for all the time, but I just can't deny myself all the tastey pleasures this world has to offer. Like the Twix I had tonight at the movies. I had one stick during the previews, and one when I started writing this post. Sure it's not great for me, but I like it, and I'm not having another one for probably another 4 months. This idea of 80% also helps me get back on track after slip-ups. Instead of being discouraged after eating something not-so-great, I move onto making better choices for the rest of the day. Less guilt, more fun...and pounds lost!

TMI

My body doesn't like "crap" food. Example: This past Sunday I had a piece of birthday cake, lots of cheese on a white bread pastrami sandwich, pop, punch, and about 5 pieces of frosted cardamon bread (Grandma's birthday, remember?)

Monday morning I was gassy and kept having to go to the bathroom. That might be too much information for y'all, but it was interesting to have my body react to food so noticeably. Good for you body, for loving good food and fussing over the bad! Who thought I would ever celebrate gas? (not me, that's fo' sho)

Love

Let's talk about the title of my post(remember it? it's way up there at the top, you troopers!) Love opens doors. We often focus on others. but think of all the doors that open when you love yourself. When you respect and honor yourself, you live a better life. Let your love for others and yourself lead you to healthy choices and playing big!

Love,

Losergirl Jess

Any weigh you want it!

2010-02-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

It's a drizzly grey morning here in Portland, and I LOVE IT! I love the rain. I love the sound, the feel, the coziness, the wetness....if rain could sing it would be Rosemary Clooney and Fergie combined, and I would be her biggest fan.

Did I mention I like the rain? I know it gets dreary, but the entire culture out here is based on precipitation, so a rainy winter means fuller lakes, better snowboarding, and excellent white water rafting. Also, more fresh food in the summer!

Lows of the week thus far

Microwaving my yoghurt. whoops. I had chicken soup leftovers in an old yoghurt container and I so I popped what I thought was tasty soup into the microwave at work....but all I got was hot yoghurt....bleegh. (I put it in the fridge when I got home, and it tastes fine:)

I over-ate yesterday. With food that really has no nutritional value. Salty sweet stuff that I know better than to eat, especially one after the other.

Highs of the week.

I went on a run/walk that was 5 miles!!! It was such a beautiful day on Monday, I didn't want to come inside. So I just kept moving. The great thing about running outside is that when I get tired, I can't just turn off the treadmill and step off. I still have to get home. I still have to be engaged and alert and moving.

I weighed in this past Tuesday at 189.5!!!! I have broken through 190! That means I get to treat myself to a class of some sort. Now. Since I am on a tight budget, my options are the classes at my gym. So I think Zumba and Hip Hop will be entering my life soon. Cause I'm so gangsta, yo.

Have a great Friday, and enjoy whatever weather you are blessed with!

Lots of updates!

2010-02-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

Trainer Meeting

Being a new member of 24hour got me a session with a trainer! It was more an informational session than working out, but it was very helpful. He asked me questions about my nutrition and exercise...and broke my coasting bubble of not trying very hard.

I'll be honest. I have not been pushing myself in the past few months, specifically with resistance training. When I do resistance training at all I stick with 10lb weights...and usually just work my arms.

Oops. I got some hard truths about pushing myself. He kindly informed me that it was stupid to only work my arms. So I am going to work on my whole body now including arms, back, legs, chest, and core. Which means, among many other things, doing push-ups. I HATE PUSHUPS.

Pushups

In an effort to push myself, I worked out with one of my co-workers on Thursday. She lead me through her routine for abs and arms, and then I went on to workout my back. It's been too long since I sweated durning a weights workout. DId I mention that I am still sore? 3 days later?

What I am trying to say, is that it is time to push myself. And not in a general way. Here is what I want to do:

Resistance training for the whole body twice a week. No excuses. Sweat must happen.
Push-ups. 20 one Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Stretch more. I think I'm going to move the coffee table aside as I watch 30 Rock and stretch it out on the carpet. I might as well move and become more flexible as I watch hilarious Tina Fey!

Running

I think I'm becoming an addict. I love being outside, and I can feel my body getting more and more used to continuous jogging. This week I am moving up to at least 20 minutes straight as I train for the Shamrock run...and I know I can do it.

Moment of Inspiration.

Remember that your playing small does not serve the world. Remember that you are immensely capable and in charge of your choices. This world is a wondrous place, and you honor it and all of us by living a fantastic life. Happy Sunday!

Easy like Sunday morning...

2010-02-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's not that easy...but you knew that. The whole "eat less(and healthier) and move more" idea sounds simple, but it gets complicated because life is complicated.

Like this morning, I had a rough start and didn't realize until too late that I did in fact have time to exercise before work. And now I am off to work. whoops:)

So this is a mini post to let you know that I will be doing a more in depth post this evening, as well as a yoga video from exercise tv....I found it through this awesome lady.

I usually don't like yoga, but I'm giving it a go. Off to work, have a FANTABULOUS Sunday!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

2010-02-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

I made a tasty meal using my own food in my own apartment and get to eat my own leftovers! (small victories people, celebrate them:)

I baked chicken lightly drizzled in olive oil and garlic schtuff, rice made with 1/2 water 1/2 tomato juice, and sauteed sqaush and tomatoes. I think I got healthier just typing that. The great thing is that I have leftovers, so I am getting 3 meals after only cooking 1.

Any tips on healthy eating when (usually) cooking for one? Good dinner recipes? I am all ears.

5k Training

It has begun. I am loosely planning my training around time goals. Try to run at least 15 minutes straight this week. 20 minutes the next, and keep adding on 5 minutes of continuous running every week until the big day!

We ran yesterday morning, after a night of bollywood dancing(oh yeah). There were certain points where I really had to push myself, get over whatever mental hurdle was tripping my up, and keep going.

Like when we were running up a hill, or when I realized I still had at least 4 more blocks to run and my legs felt like lead. Or when I went off to lala land and couldn't remember the last 4 blocks.

I like to be present when I am running. I haven't listened to music while running becauseI want to be where I am...this isn't to say I won't ever listen to Fergie while pounding the pavement. Cause she rocks, that's why.

It feels like the start to a good week folks...let's make it so:)

Signed, Sealed, Joined, I'm yours!

2010-01-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

I did it! You are now reading the words of a member of 24hour fitness. It's more expensive than I thought, but I;m worth it, and I need it. I am also excited about my free consultation next week. I think I get measurements and what-not done, which will be nice to check compared to my last measuring.

Going there wasn't as bad as I imagined (gee, really?). It basically seems like everyone is busy doing their own thing, and I was there at mid-day, so meat-cake percentage was low. I am excited to add resistance training to my schedule again! It might mean a small increase in weight for a bit, but it is ultimately healthier, and will help me lose weight faster.

Which, speaking of weight, I weighed myself at 24hour today. It was a new scale for me, and so instead of noting my weight as a factfactfact, I am considering this my recalibration week. According to the 24hour fitness scale in the women's locker room, I am 191lbs! I know one or both of the scales I have now used could be wrong, but let's celebrate that weight anyways!

WOOTWOOT!

Okay, did a little celebration dance in my seat, back to blogging:)

Another cause for celebration is the run Kristi(awesomecoolroommate) and I did yesterday. We jogged about 2/3 of what I found out was a 3.6mile route! Running with Kristi is good for me because she can run faster and longer than I can, so I try not to slow her down, and speed up in the process!

Speaking of running...it's 5K time.

The end of January has snuck up on me. Out of nowhere. Like a fitness tiger who will bite off my head unless I run. Anywho.

I am designing my own training program. Most training programs are for beginners (they want me to start off with 10 minutes of running 3 days a week), but there are also intermediate ones (that want me to start with 3 miles 3 times a week). Neither of those really work for me.

So I have gotten out my paper and pens, and am trying to create a program. I know I want to run 3 days a week. Do I make them set run days? Do I switch it up every week? How long/far should I run?

I'm figuring it out. All I know is that at this moment I need to go buy myself a bed, and then do some resistance training. So I'm off until next time.

Anyone else training for something specific? What is your training program? Any tips?

And another year is here!

2010-01-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

So it’s Tuesday. Weigh-in day. And 24hour Fitness has a scale. So I should know my weight. Do you see the excuses coming?

I didn’t join 24hour Fitness. And I didn’t weigh myself today. But....

It’s my BIRTHDAY!

I am officially 23 years old. And I think it’s going to be a great year for me. I have a place in the city, good friends nearby, jobs that pay, and a body that can hike up mini-mountains, run 3 miles(okay, walk and run 3 miles) and go on long walks at the beach...let me prove it to you:

(jumping on the mountain!)

(we ran to a bakery...and picked up some buns for dinner...this is me showing mine off:)

(A sideways lighthouse...I know, it's crazy)

I had to talk myself into joining 24hour a little more. Money is tight right now, and so I am stressing out about "extraneous expenses." But it's only $18 a month, and if I want to stop the membership after a month, I can. And I need some classes and weights.

And...

HOLY GOODNESS IT'S ALMOST FEBRUARY!!

I did not see that coming! Soon and very soon, I will be starting to train for the Shamrock Run, my 5k in Mid-March. Right now I'm just randomly running around Portland, getting to know the city better, but when I start training I will be a little more disciplined about distance and length of runs.

Then I'll be ready for a marathon....just kidding! Yeah, not running more than 20 miles. It goes against my religion:)

My roomie and I had our families over for dinner tonight, and I found myself saying that the secret to my success is "eat less, move more." Doesn't that sound simple? It is infuriatingly not so. It is difficult sometimes and stressful and makes me feel vulnerable and scared, but it is something I do for myself. Not for the approval of others, not for society, but for me.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Stayed tuned in for more frequent updates.

10 reasons I should join 24

2010-01-22T00:14:00.000-08:00

I need some motivation and push to join 24hour fitness. It seriously intimidates me. There are sweaty people there. In workout clothes other than baggy old shirts. They have lockers, and saunas, and rows upon rows of machines...

I need to weigh-in. Every week, on the same scale. And I don't own one...and don't really want to own one either.
I need the weights. I can do some workouts at home, but it's great to have all the machines accessible.
If it's truly awful weather, I can run inside.
It makes sense to invest money into my health. And if I use the gym 3 times a week, it's only $2per visit.
Mapquest says the nearest 24 is 3 minutes away. Come on.
Some of my friends work out at 24, so I would have some motivation from them to work-out!
Classes can be really fun!
And I haven't tried Zumba yet!
I can always cancel it during the summer if I want to spend more time outside.
Because I am worth a gym membership.

So there they are. All my reasons, in writing. Tomorrow I will go and get info, and then I think I will join on Monday, since I will be gone for the weekend...

Did I mention I'm leaving town with friends for a little birthday celebration?! Woot woot! I have an entire 3 DAYS OFF. I haven't had that since...I don't know, October?

It's going to be really difficult to lose weight when I am already planning on beer and pizza, but I am also planning on moving a lot, so we'll see how it goes. My goal is 195 on Tuesday...crossing my fingers....trying to start 23 49lbs lighter than 22.

Nervous, but excited...

2010-01-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

Hi. It’s been a while. Which might be sad for my waist line....but I'm pretty happy. You see, I have been commuting to both of my odd-houred jobs 6 days a week for the past few months...and when I say commuting, I mean 18 miles...one way. Suckface.

But you are now reading the words of an apartment inhabiter in one of the best cities ever, Portland! Woot woot! I am less than 4 miles away from both jobs, I will be living with two of the coolest people in my life, and I finally have a use for those Moroccan carpets I was sold in Fez....long story....that makes me look bad...I am such a pushover...nope, moving on:)

The last few days have been hectic as I pack, find furniture, change addresses, and stress about life changing.

Because, as we all know, even good change can be a little scary. I am ready to leave my parent's house(again), I need to be closer to work, I love the city and the people, but...

what if?

What I can't afford to pay my student loans now that I have rent and groceries? What if I suck at buying and cooking myself healthy food? (I've lived on my own before, just not while eating healthy) What if my hours get cut at work and I can’t afford rent?

Do you notice the theme? Money. Yikes. I like having money to do things I want to do, but I hate having to stress about it. So I’m going to create a budget, manage my money, and maybe take that cute accountant who comes into my coffeeshop out for a “money management” date:)

Weigh-in

Hmmmm. I was wondering if 194.5lbs was too good to be true. Last night I weighed in and was 196lbs. Which is still awesome! I have lost 48lbs! But it is up from the last weigh-in. My goal is to rock this week and weigh-in at 194.5 again next tuesday(at a new gym no less!)

I won’t be close to my community fitness center after this week, so I am stepping it up and joining a big girls gym...a place I find very intimidating...and dark...but that has good equipment and classes...I’m talking about 24hour Fitness. It’s the Hollister of gyms to me. Dark entrance, I don’t know if I belong, and there is funny smell being pumped out the front:)

But I know I need a gym to go to while it is still winter, so I’m investing the $20 or so a month in my health. Because I deserve it.

Happy-Body-Whatnot

I was in a circuit class the other day, and had a realization. I was at a station where you are stepping up on an aerobics step, kicking out your leg, and then repeating. There were two steps to chose from. One was higher off the ground.

That’s the one I chose. And as I was sweating and kicking and wishing for water or a break, I realized how far I have come. I am almost 50lbs lighter than last summer. I can move and push and jump! I can take on the big step, and I should take on the big step. My playing small does not serve the world.

Going for what I want and need, striving for excellence, being happy, joyful, and helpful, that is what serves the world, and myself, best.

It’s mid January. I know we all have goals, resolutions, that are starting to get difficult. Recommit. Find the passion, remember your reasons, and know that you are capable. Ask for help and celebrate every little milestone, every little victory (although maybe not with 5 margaritas and brownies...because celebration throwing up is never fun:)

*title of post inspired by this hilarious skit.

Change of Address

2010-01-16T16:19:00.000-08:00

I'm moving! Into a great place in the great city of Portland with some great friends! It's great!

So that is what I have been focusing on the past week and a half. While watching my eating and exercising...so when I weighed myself a few days late, I saw

194.5lbs!!

That's what I'm talking about! It's still really busy getting everything ready for moving/moving/unpacking/painting furniture/finding stuff on craigslist and at goodwill, but stick around for updates and how my exercise/eating life is about to change.

And be grateful exercise has advanced past this: Body Fusion

Happy Wednesday

2010-01-13T22:09:00.000-08:00

Just popping in for a moment, to say that I have not weighed in yet this week....but I have a (kinda) good reason...that I will share with y'all in a day or two...a life change...that makes me really happy...and scares me...which means it's good for me.

(Are you intrigued? Excited? Me TOO!)

Let's hear it for the girls!

2010-01-10T22:39:00.001-08:00

Enough about me. Let's talk about some other great people. Like suseebe. You might have noticed her amazingly inspiring and helpful comments at the end of my posts. She's a wonderful support in my life, and I love what she has to say. Like the other day, she left this little note from Dr.Oz:

From Dr. Oz on AOL's "That's Fit" column ...

--Don't beat yourself up if you "cheat."--
Hey, everyone occasionally has an off day, when, say the desire to eat a few ... okay, 10... chocolate chip cookies gets the better of us. When that happens, says Dr. Oz, don't brow-beat yourself. Instead, "recognize your mistake and recognize what led to your mistake, then get back on track." Some of Dr. Oz's quick and easy suggestions for getting back on the program -- and feeling better about your progress: Take a five-minute walk, toss out a calorie-rich or otherwise unhealthy food you're still holding on to (like the rest of that bag of cookies); write out your meal plan for tomorrow. "Doing something small and easily attainable, keeps you moving in the right direction," he says.

As we all know, my life went a little wayward in the past week, and this comment came to my rescue a few times. There was one day where I felt all the food was spiraling out of my control and onto my ass...so I threw out some stale holiday cookies.

I was running a little late on Thursday, and was thinking about skipping my run...dissapointing my dog...and my ass again...but I thought about a five minute walk, and said, I can run for 15 minutes. So I did. It wasn't thirty, like I had originally wanted. But it wasn't nothing. So thank you Susan, for you encouragement, support, laughter, and wisdom. I would be on the elliptical next to you any day:)

I have this friend, named A. It's a simple name but it suits her just fine:) She started running about a month ago. At 5:15am every other day. Where it is very cold. And that deserves praise, adoration, trumpets blowing and confetti! Or at the very least, a thank you, for being an inspiration for me.

And then there are all the blogs I read. Look to the right. See that list of blogs? I don't know many of those ladies personally, but their lives help me, motivate me, and make me think. So check 'em out.

And finally, I would like to dedicate this post, to the Shakeweight. (watch this video right now. Don't keep reading, just click on it. I'm serious, there is nothing important after this. Just watch it!) Because life was not ridiculous enough.

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

(I'm such a party girl...really:)

hmmm...it seems I have been absent for a while. I wish I had a really good explanation, like I was moving, or was randomly selected to fly to New York to spend New Years with John Krasinski....but no such luck:)

I have been sick, stressed, and full of excuses. But let's back up, shall we? Maybe back to New Years?

To the New Year, and beyond...

And thus began my descent into bad eating. I had a big lobster dinner with the family before going to a house party...where I had tequila shots, hard cider, brownies, and those amazing costco truffles.

And then on friday I had Macaroni Grill for lunch....delicious fail. We ate the fresh baked bread...okay, I ate the fresh baked bread. And then we shared the mozarella fritti(dressed up mozarella sticks, 670 cal). And then I ate my whole meal(Honey basalmic chicken, 640 cal).

Four hours later we had sushi for dinner.

And then Sunday we went to the Seahawks game, which means dim sum, hot dogs, garlic fries, and pizza/pasta on the way home.

The point of this mini-food-listing, is that I overdid it. I even drank pop, which I never do! And if you are wondering, I only exercised on friday and saturday. My balance has been off.

Weigh-In...

Not good. I gained a pound. I wasn't surprised, but I cursed the scale silently in the corner of the gym. I am back to 199lbs. Remember 2 weeks ago? When I was setting goals, shortening my time-period for weight-loss, and generally kicking ass?

Something changed. I think I gave in. I was on top of everything for so long, I was succeeding through the holidays, and then...not.

I'm thinking out loud (on keyboard?) right now, but maybe I was afraid of my potential. Maybe my success scared me, because if I can do this, think of what else I can do. Where will my excuses be then? If I can do this, lose 90lbs, I can do anything.

ANYTHING. And that scares me. So I am turning to a quote from Marianne Williamson my friend Shayna used to have in our dorm room:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are we not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you."

My playing small does not serve the world. It is my responsibility to live my life the best and healthiest way I can. I have a fully functioning body that can accomplish amazing feats...if I push myself. If I embrace my potential and fabulousity:)

So here is to a FABULOUS new year, playing big, and knowing when to take half a meal home. Happy 2010:)

Peaks and Valleys

2009-12-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

I did not want to work today. I was tired, and didn't eat too well yesterday...which meant that my defenses were down. There were candies and doughnuts in the breakroom and I indulged. A lot. I don't even like doughnuts!

I was feeling all guilty and gross after work. But I pulled myself together and ate healthily before my workout and weigh-in...at which point I found out that I am

198lbs!!

Apparently, despite all of my little indulgences and over-working, I balanced it out! After I weighed myself, I had a FANTASTIC workout. Pushed myself, felt the burn, and was accompanied by the soundtrack for "Songs for a New World."

At which point, I came home (in the snow!) and ate 3pieces of pizza, drank some pop, and had some Peppermint Jo-Jos. Damnit!!

I keep flip flopping between healthy and not healthy behaviors! Why isn't this easy? Calming down. breathing in and out. Those choices are behind me. I can make a better choice in the future. What do you do when you find yourself having health highs and lows?

I've been naughty....

2009-12-28T21:42:00.000-08:00

get your mind out of the gutter! I'm talking about holiday eating of course. I have been indulging more than usual, and the giant pile of goodies on our kitchen counter is not making things any easier. (it takes all my will power to resist the peppermint candy oreo's from Trader Joe's)

Last night I was up late, watching tv and surfing the net, and I had a sudden craving. Did I let it pass? No. Did I go downstairs to find something healthy-ish? No. I got old costco birthday cake out of the mini fridge...and scooped out a piece with a plastic cup....I couldn't take the time to walk downstairs and get a fork...I wanted that cake.

It tasted fantastic.

For about 2 minutes.

And then it was a little rock in my stomach. I know better. I know that if I had stepped back, and walked downstairs to get a fork, I would have found something healthier to eat. So the trick next time is to wait 5 minutes. Okay, at least try to wait 5 minutes.

Goals

So I have been writing about goals lately. Mostly pre-new years goals. And I have 2! I have already started both changes!

Goal One: Run at least twice a week.

Yep. I am committing myself to this. And one of the reasons is the Shamrock Run. I am putting a group together to participate named TEAM AWESOME PANTS. (you have to wear awesome pants...obviously) I really want to jog the whole thing. Right now I do a lot of interval stuff, but I think it would feel amazing to just go. To push my body. To get over the mental hurdles and find my zone...while wearing awesome pants:)

Goal Two: Dance more.

I love dancing. Every time I saw the nutcracker as a kid, I would twirl back to the car with visions of myself on stage. I love Riverdance(stop judging me), I love watching anyone dance, and I watched So You Think You Can Dance for the first time this fall. And I want to dance. Right now that just means I dance at home alone, but I am hoping to join some classes....maybe try zumba for the first time....maybe try a little hip hop...who knows?

So those are my life goals right now. And of course, try not to eat cake unless I want it badly enough to get a fork.

Blustery days and cravings

2009-12-26T18:17:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays! I hope you all are enjoying your family and friends this wintery season, and not getting too caught up in the commercial side of things!

My week has been busy...too busy. For a few days I worked both jobs, sometimes one right after another. I was tired, and fed up, and not enjoying my food. You know how when you are craving something, but you don't know what it is? And everything that is not what you are craving loses some of its taste? That was cured at lunch today when I had and open faced sandwich with goat cheese, olive oil, avocados, tomatoes, and some bacon. YUM!

And then I went on a run with my dog. And I would say 75% of it was spent actually running! woot woot!

I finally went the easy way to upload my "before and after" pictures...which means I took a picture of them and then uploaded them:) So here they are:

Everything just looks slimmer! So much cause for celebration!

New Goals on the Block!

2009-12-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

My final results are in for the Biggest-Weight-Loss Challenge group I was in! My team won! We lost 6.15% of our total weight, and I am so proud of everyone on the team. Everyone was committed to showing up, which is half the battle for any goal!

Here are my results (the first number is from September 15th, and the second is from December 8th).

Weight: 228.....220

Body Fat%: 41.15%.....38.13%

Fat Weight: 93.82.....76.26

Chest: 122cm.....113cm

Waist: 116cm.....112cm

Hip: 122cm.....114.5cm

As you can read, this group was a huge success for me! I have before and after pictures....but I am a novice with my new computer, so scanning and uploading those pictures will be accomplished when my sister and brother have time to make me feel like and idiot for an hour:) Good news: you can totally tell the difference!

So what does this new weight mean for me? Well, first off, it means that I am 46lbs away from my ultimate goal, 154lbs.

That means I need to reconsider my original goal. At the beginning of my 90lbs in 90 weeks journey, the end date was in May of 2011. Looking at that goal now, I know I don’t need another 70-something weeks to lose 46lbs. But I also know that plateaus and struggles are in my future(because that is how life goes), so 46lbs in 46 weeks might be a wee bit unrealistic.

My compromise is this: 46lbs in (about) 50weeks. The new final weigh-in is DECEMBER 19th, 2010. That’s right folks, I’m moving the date up. I factored in some extra weeks so I don’t get discouraged if a weigh-in isn’t up to par.

Other things this new weight means is: being able to wrap a towel almost all the way around my body, shaking my hips like maracas, keeping up with my adorable dog on jogs, and wearing loose clothes that used to be tight!

The Holidays

Ahem...yeah, so the holidays are difficult. I don’t know about all y’alls families, but mine is full of excellent cooks. And my friends know how to make a spread of zesty hummus and winter brews like nobodies business. So what’s a girl to do?

Take it one gathering at a time. Eat small portions, try not to go back for seconds, and enjoy the delicious food and drinks. I write this like it’s easy.

I try not to graze, I try to limit intake and choose the healthiest options, but it doesn’t always work. And speaking of work, I am uber busy with my jobs. So not only am I tired when I arrive at gatherings because I’ve already worked one or two shifts, but I am usually hungry. So defenses are down, cravings are up, and I’m working on it.

Always having water with me helps, as does trying to eat or drink slowly. Or standing a wee bit away from the food table...or keeping your hands busy with a healthy food, like peeling an orange...or telling stories with my hands, which keeps them too busy to eat...oh wait, I already do that:)

Anywho, what I am trying to say is: stay sane. Eat slowly. Love your family and friends. And think of your pre-new-year goals, mine will be here soon!

Sunday Funny for getting all the way through this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5woNs9WRE

Rolling Hills of Weight-loss

2009-12-18T19:55:00.000-08:00

Remember at the beginning of my weight-loss journey? Think back four months. I lost big numbers in those first weeks, mountains of excess that were weighing my body down. Then I became consistent with 2-4lbs every week...and now I am hitting 1s and 1/2s.

So I am not plateauing, but I am not living on easy street either. Am I okay with a 1/2 pound loss one week, and a 1-2 pound loss the next?

Yes. My goal and aim is still to lose 1lb a week...but. The real goal is to get healthy and lose weight as part of that process. So as long as I am doing that every week, I will be happy.

Which brings me to my final weigh-in! My final weigh-in this past tuesday was:

200lbs!!

I get a massage!!!! We got before and after pictures from our Biggest-Weight-Loss program, as well as stats for body fat and measurements that I will be sharing with you shortly.

Altogether I lost 28lbs in 13 weeks. I am really proud of myself, and I am so thankful for all the support and info I got from my team. I highlytrulycompletely recommend having a support group! Weight can be a touchy subject, and having a safe place to face it head-on with others going through the same struggle, is important. I will be switching gyms in the next month, but right now I love seeing familiar faces working up a sweat.

Goals!

Have you been thinking of goals? I have....and I am really nerdy excited....but you will have to wait to hear what my new goals are, since I am need of a new bra! (tmi?)

Have a fabulous weekend, enjoy but don’t over-do, and remember the real magic of Christmas is in your heart (cue cheesy music and my brother rolling his eyes:)

Off to the Tree Farm!

2009-12-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time! Today we are trekking out to our usual tree farm to pick a winner of an evergreen. By the way, I love Christmas...probably because I love my family and friends, so any excuse to spend time with them is fine by me. Also, when photo opportunities like this one from 2 years ago arise, I think we step up to the plate with confidence:

(aren't we purdy?)

Speaking of pretty, check out this photo from 2.5 years ago:

(I do a mean air guitar:)

It's amazing how in less than a year I went from that picture to this one:

Bigger body, less confidence. This journey is not just about weight-loss. That is an obvious external change that comes with gaining my life back.

I feel more in control of my life. I feel confident in what my body can do, and how I can choose to react to what happens around me. I feel more at home in my strong body, and am excited for the many changes in this transitional phase of life.

This is a rather random post, but my scattered thoughts are slowly organizing themselves...so thanks for being part of my organizational process:)

Blue Moon Blogging

2009-12-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

Oops. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The hardest thing about blogging after a mini-break is that I have so much I want to blog about!

So let’s start with the obvious: this week’s weigh-in. It was my last Biggest Weight-Loss class and as you might remember, I was aiming for losing another 1.5lbs before this past Tuesday. That would have brought me to an even 202lbs. The sad news is that I didn’t lose 1.5lbs. The good news?

I lost 2.5!!!

I now weigh 200.5lbs:) Yayayayay, happy dance! In the past 13 weeks, I have lost 27.5lbs in a healthy way!!! I am so pumped and excited for next week’s weigh-in (I reallyreallyreally want a massage).

I think the success of the last week can be attributed to my outdoor time. I had an entire day without work last Saturday! With 2 jobs I have some short days, but not many that are completely mine. And what did I do with my free 24 hours?

I woke up early(I know, ridiculous) and went on a hike with my friend M. It was foggy as I drove over bridges to pick her up and head into the Columbia River Gorge. But as we started hiking, the fog cleared and it was blue skies the whole way!

Hiking makes me feel free. I love jogging, and circuits in the gym, and walking my dog in our neighborhood, but on a mountain or in the forest I feel more alive. I don’t have to work hard to break a sweat. I just have to put one foot in front of another. And with a good friend, good conversation makes the time fly by.

I also went on a long jog with my puppy near a lake. There weren’t many other people out and about...probably because it was approximately 25 degrees outside. (The weather is sooooo cold right now. As in, my hair froze as I walked to a coffee shop this morning:)

It’s important to mix training/exercise up, and even doing the same thing in different places helps. Run inside one day, outside the next. Weight circuit at the gym, personal weights at home while watching Wedding Crashers. Mix it up!

A New Idea

I had an idea last week. More of a revelation actually. So here goes: I eat emotionally. And when I eat emotionally, I reach for comforting foods. Foods that remind me of childhood, or that I associate with certain memories of good times. (okay Losergirl, this is nothing new...It’s actually quite well known...and common...so get on with it)

What if, instead of reaching for comfort foods, I did comfort activities?! I could read a book I’ve read multiple times before. I could work on that dang afghan I have been making for the past 9 years. I could watch a familiar movie, or play with my dog, look at old photos, wear an old sweatshirt....there are so many possibilities not including food!

I was able to try this technique out the other day, and it helped me more than I thought it would. Instead of reaching for the bag of chocolate chips, I found my old copy of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and read the first chapter. My grandmother gave me a 1954 copy of the book, and the smell alone reminds me of the first time I read it about 10 years ago. That feeling of home, of familiarity was almost as good as the brownie that I was craving.

(side note: this good idea might not apply when a certain Losergirl is experiencing her womanly time and would consider punching a grandmother to get her hands on a chocolate chip cookie, chocolate ice cream, candies, or hot chocolate....because rules were meant to be broken and I am not giving up all of my excuses for indulgence just yet)

Resolutions

The New Year is getting closer my friends! And that means new year resolutions. Yay? You might remember a few weeks ago when I made my “before the new year” resolution (199lbs by 2010). I am well on my way, and I hope all of you who made your own goals are doing well and getting it done! Or at the very least, trying, and not beating yourself up.

I am hesitant to make resolutions, because I fail at them every time. Like last year, I resolved to treat my teeth better. I flossed until March, and now only do it once in a blue moon. And it’s such a set up. How many people truly commit to their resolutions? And why does the new year seem like such a great time to start? Why not, RIGHT NOW?

So a challenge to you: Think about something you want to change in your life. It can be a big change like, "stop hanging out with family and friends who bring me down," or a small change like, "write a letter once a month."

Write it down. Then write down how you are going to change it. The small steps, the big steps, whose help you will need, who will hold you to the change, what you will do when little failures occur. Then write down all the benefits you could possibly create with this change. Write them down in BIG LETTERS. Maybe give yourself an incentive, a prize.

Now, here is the kicker. Start your journey to that life change between now and December 31st. Be a rebel. By the time 2010 comes around, you will be on your way instead of just starting! In the next weeks, I will share my goals and how they are starting out, and I would love to hear yours!

Happy Friday!

The Last Week of Biggest Loser

2009-12-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

Quick post my friends, and then it's off to work (again:).

At my weigh-in this past week, I only lost .5lbs. Not great. Okay, good, but not my goal, which is one pound a week. My disappointment in that half pound carried over into my workout.

I didn't push myself as hard. It felt like I was going through the motions, just getting it done, and not pushing myself.

On one of my sprints around the track, I pounded out my frustration, and on the next run, I decided to stop wallowing. As much as I love a good pout/sulk, it wasn't going to help me get that next pound lost. So I made amends with a half pound, and moved onto the next.

I have been pushing myself every day this week, adding 5 minutes to every every workout, pushing myself to go faster, further, and focused..er? If I can lose one pound this week, I will have lost 26lbs in 13 weeks!

So here are the lessons for the week: don;t be over confident about food choices. Eat good food. Make mistakes, and then learn from them. As my friend S. said, "the path to success is paved with failure."

Also, don't trust my dog near salmon patties and onion rolls. She will eat them all:)

YumYum

2009-12-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

So I am feeling in the mood for some food talk. Because I...LOVE....FOOD. I love spices and oils and breads and desserts and really good meat and broccoli rocks my world! I have been blessed to have healthy food around me at home in the past few months, but I will be moving out in just a wee bit.

(pay no attention to the weird formatting above. I don't know how to fix it:)

And then I've got to fend for myself. Getting bored of soups for lunch at work, I have been trying to mix it up a little. Last week I mixed some mango salsa with shredded chicken leftovers and scooped it up in a whole wheat tortilla for a good meal.

On Sunday night I tried a recipe for Thai Chicken Salad from Shape magazine. Due to some leftovers, it was a thai turkey salad, but who's keeping track? Basically, I mixed shredded turkey and shredded carrots with these:

(peanut butter, rice vinegar, and ground red pepper)

The results were meant to go in a sandwich, but I used whole wheat tortillas again. The finished product, tupperwared and ready for the next day, looked like this:
I wish I could say it was awesome, but the taste of vinegar was strong, and the texture was mushy. BUT, I am even more determined to find a healthy peanut sauce out there that I can easily make!

Luckily, I was still excited about a dinner I made the week before, so my disappointment wasn't too bad:)

I wanted to try cooking fish. Cooking meat in general is a tricky area for me where I can make a marinade, but fail at actually cooking it. So I looked in the American Heart Association's Quick and Easy Cookbook to find an easy approach to fish.

Voila. Pan-Seared Tuna with Mandarin Orange Pico de Gallo. Sounds tricky, but I did it! For sides I had steamed broccoli and 5-minute cous-cous(I was bored of pasta and rice).

(That's my plate! The tuna is hiding under the pico de gallo.)

But enough about the successes. Let's talk a bit about the improvement opportunities. I was so proud of my last weigh-in, and the self-control I had on Thanksgiving, I let go on the weekend. I was working and cranky, so I procrastinated on planning meals to bring, be really hungry when I got home, and then loaded up. And I had more pizza than I could handle. Too much pizza=tummy ache.

As my life gets busier, I need to make more time for food planning. I know it's not a great hobby, but I love food, so spending time thinking of delicious healthy foods shouldn't be a hardship.

Lately I have been making excuses about food because it has "healthy fat." I will not shun fat, it is the taste in most foods and your body needs some.

However. I don't need large quantities. I've noticed that when my eating habits veer from healthy, I start abbreviating my food journal. I try to make the page seem relatively empty so it looks like I didn't eat too much. Who am I fooling???

And this is in the freezer. Right now. I really want some. BUT. I had a lot of good food today, and the ice cream will be there tomorrow. So I will wait. I will wait for creamy deliciousness, that is only 100 cal per 1/2 cup serving.

DARN YOU PUMPKIN ICE CREAM!

(Also, I love green tea. Especially when I can drink it out of my mug that is as big as my face:)

Turkey Day has come and gone

2009-11-28T10:13:00.000-08:00

And how did we do? Let's rewind a bit, and go back to Tuesday.

I weighed in at 203.5lbs!! YESYESYES! I have lost 40.5lbs since starting this journey 3 months ago. But that number isn't the important thing. What's important is that I feel like I am getting a 2nd chance at life.

For the past two years it felt like my life was an inevitable downward spiral. I had to get my kicks in while I could because what is so darn exciting about living? Being the single friend for another few years? Writing papers(which I hate doing with a passionate fury)? Traveling so I didn't have to deal with my problems? And then what? Graduate and sit on the couch for a few months being rejected from job after job after job.

Low points. And my fat allowed(allows) me to set up a protective wall. It is my barrier, my battle gear, my excuse. And that will be hard to deal with as I break it down bit by bit, pound by pound.

But I have started. I now know that I CHOOSE MY LIFE. There is so much I don't have control over. But I do control my actions. I control what I eat. And what I do. I know that I can set goals and reach them. I know that there is more to life than passing classes and building resumes. I know that I can push myself physically.

So I am thankful for my self-confidence that is returning in small pieces. I am thankful for my family, my friends, and this blog. And for good music and coffee and my dog and books:)

THANKSGIVING

I read a post from another blog the day before Thanksgiving that really spoke to me, and I wish I could have shared it sooner. It is from a blog called Feed Me I'm Cranky. I just started following it, and her post on Thanksgiving spoke to me.

You should follow the link and read it, but for those of you who can't be bothered to go, here is a intense compression of what she had to say:

Don't build up the holidays as this huge ordeal that you have to get through. Plan for the chaos, make your own decisions, don't set yourself up for failure.

So I took Thanksgiving as a pretty regular day with a big meal at the end (not hard, considering I worked that morning:)

I ate small portions, had a big dinner, and only indulged in one dessert. (okay, don't hate me, but I don't really like apple/pumpkin/pecan pies...I know, sacrilege. Sometimes they hit the spot, but not usually, so it was easy for me to pass on them)

How did your Thanksgivings go? Favorite foods? Did you exercise on Thanksgiving? How are the holidays going for you so far?

Preparing for battle!

2009-11-24T14:28:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving week is upon us! In preparation for some long days and temptations, I am planning and preparing my food as much as possible, and scheduling in workouts when I can.

For example, this was my Monday:

3:30am-wake up. eat oatmeal.

4:25am-start work. eat awesome spinach salad with veggies I made. drink coffee. eat homemade yogurt parfait. eat orange. drink banana protein smoothie

12:45pm-meet with friend for awesome vegetarian lunch of peanut sauce, veggies, and brown rice. remember that I hate brown rice, but force myself to eat it.

2pm-go on a walk. up a big hill. get lost on purpose and find quiet in big city.

3:30pm-sit in small library and read new book.

4:15pm-drink expensive tea in hipster cafe while covertly eating my wheat tortillas and mango chicken salsa from home. read and rest my feet.

5:45pm-start 2nd job. cashier, joke around, stay standing.

9:45pm-go home. eat peanut bar. watch the end of the sisterhood of the traveling pants 2. realize that it is full of good intentions, but a terrible movie none the less.

11:15pm-write in food journal. go to bed.

Because of how far away I live from my jobs, it doesn't always make sense for me to go home between them, which is why I filled the gap with friend, exercise, and rest. What really helped me through that day was having plans, flexibility, and prepared food..which is how the rest of this week will hopefully go.

Talking about preparation, I spent some time the other day going through old magazines and cutting out what I found useful or interesting! I have Shape magazines from 2005, if that gives you any idea how many I had collected.

This is what our table looked like as I was working. It may look like a mess to you, but it all made sense to me:) I am down to only possessing 2 fitness magazines! Once I go through them and cut out what I want, I will have the best health binder ever, and be saving space in my room.

And now for an opinion or two (keep in mind that these are old magazines I was going through, so time may have changed them from what I am judging right now).

I like Women's Health way more than Shape. It has more articles than little blurbs, and it seems more well-rounded than Shape. I would say that Women's Health is the cool older cousin who seems to have it all figured out, while Shape is the trendy college freshman whose attention span is about 30 seconds:)

It still bugs me that bikini bodies are their constant covers though. What about a wetsuit? Or pilates clothes? A parka? Maybe some hoodies and sweats? Heck, I could model those!

Beer belly in the works...

2009-11-22T10:38:00.000-08:00

Ok. So my last few days have been full of gatherings. Fun, happy times with those I love! And of course, they wouldn't be complete without food and drink, right?

Right.

For my mom's birthday dinner, we went to a german restaurant to celebrate. Good moments:I only drank water, I ordered the small version of my entree, I...ok, that's it:)

Not so great moments: I ate appetizers(cheesy, fatty appetizers, only half of which were actually good), I ate a roll of bread with lots of butter, and I ordered dessert...but it was one of the baby desserts, so I get kudos for that, right?!

It is so difficult to let go of the "eat what you can right now, because others will eat it all, and you will be left with nothing" mentality in family settings. So what am I going to do next time?

Plan what I want to eat. Order a really healthy entree if I want to indulge in something else on the table. Stick to water!

What's funny is that yesterday I ate healthy, well portioned food, and then drank beer all evening. Oh self-sabatatoge, you tricksy devil.

Beers can range from 100-175cal per 12oz serving. By my factoring, I had about 400extra calories last night, due to my drinking. Part of it was that I had had a long day at work, and wanted to relax. Kick back, drink something yummy, and let customer service go.

But there is also a part of me that just doesn't want to become the girl who says no. You know the girl in your group who is always sizing up calories, who wants to go out, but doesn't actually order anything, who complains about how they are so full from dinner hours ago?

I need to be more comfortable with being picky about what I eat. I just don't want that to define me. Blast and wretch!

In good news, I took my dog on a really long walk this week and got through the pain of tuesday's workout! And I spent 65min on the treadmill! So there is hope and happiness, and one more day of the weekend!

My first award, and some other lovely blogs to read!

2009-11-21T10:14:00.000-08:00

First and foremost: I have received my first blogging award! The most fantastic Sugar-free Cupcake over at Health, Happiness, & Skinny Jeans passed me on the honor of the:

Of course, as with every Bloggy Award, there are A Few Rules. They are, forthwith:

Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

So in the great blogging spirit, I would like to present the Super Scribbler Award to these five blogs I lovelovelove to read:

fit this, girl! Mary has fun when she moves, and you can watch how she reaches her goals, listen in on her conversations with her body, and even get a good recipe for mac'n'cheese!

The making of Dree How do you get fit with an intense class schedule and the busy life of a college student? Dree is figuring it out, and gaining confidence in the process (you rock!).

Prior Fat Girl I like to think of Jen as a leader in the weight-loss/health blogging world, probably because her posts are fantastic, and she has gone on such a long journey with her weight. Woot woot for her wisdom she shares!

Washington^Squared Oh Katherine, I love knowing what is going on in your life as you teach math in Washington DC. Keep grooving like you do, and let those kids know how exciting integers and matrices can be!

Somewhat Crafty Wedding You are just so darn crafty! Not only with your wedding, but with your new house projects too! And your puppy is adorable:)

A Blonde Jillian

2009-11-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

And now, for a dramatization of the Biggest Weight-Loss Challenge Work-out tonight.

Me: What's that you're holding, substitute trainer?

Trainer: Oh this? It's your ass!

Me: Oh...it's kind of big.

Trainer: I know. Well, are you ready?

Me: For what?

Trainer: I'm about to hand it to you.

Me: Damn.

Sometimes, we get comfy in our routines. We get used to the pace and moves we set for ourselves, and we forget to shake it up.

Tonight we had a substitute trainer, and I would describe her as a blonde Jillian. I hated her and loved her for one hour:)

She pushed us past where we thought we could go, and while my tomorrow is going to be painful, I appreciate it. Some exercises were a battle. The Burpie? That move where you drop to your hands and knees, kick your legs back, pull them back in, and stand up? I'm pretty sure I sounded like a rhinoceros passing a kidney stone while I did it, but dangumit, I did it!

Goals

Oh Fergie. You crazy woman you. I have tried some intense inclines because of you. I can handle 15 minutes. You do it for an hour? You crazy!

But seriously, what a great workout. I have been doing intervals where I walk on a 15% incline for 4 minutes, lower down to 3% for 1 minute, run for 3 minutes, walk, and do the whole thing over again. (yes, it hurts. Yes, it is worth it.)

I lost another 2lbs this week, which means I now weigh 205lbs, only 5lbs away from adiosing the 200s! And I had this crazy idea today.

Why not ring in the new year at 199lbs? If I lose 1lb every week for the next 5 weeks (which is my usual goal, but this is holiday season, so loss is going to be trickier) I could be halfway to my goal weight for the start of 2010!

Now, I don't want to set myself up for failure, or feel like a failure if I can't reach this goal, but I KNOW I can do this. This goal while keep me focused through the holidays, and the motivation of a massage is plenty good!

So here is my challenge to all y'all. Make a goal for the next 6 weeks. It can be a fitness goal, a health goal, and organization goal, any goal. Don't wait for the new year. What can you accomplish in the next 6 weeks?

Let us know what you can do before 2010, and how you are going to do it! Let's make the last bit of 2009 rock!

As the stressful seasons begin..

2009-11-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

In addition to my barista job, I have taken on a seasonal position at an outdoor retailer (yay!).

Both of my jobs are part-time, so I will be working anywhere from 40-55 hours a week until January, prime holiday season. Which means holiday shoppers...blegh.

Before I go on, allow me to say that I love my jobs.

Okay fine, I enjoy my jobs and get along with my co-workers and don't completely dread going to work. It would be awesome if I was being paid to travel and read and bake and be myself, but not everyone can have that job...does anyone have that job??? (damn you Anthony Bourdain!)

Dream job aside, I like my jobs because I am directly interacting with people all the time. I get to have brief conversations with interesting people from all walks of life, and hopefully brighten their day with a good latte, or by helping them find the perfect water bottle for their camping trip. I would say that 85% of my customers are great.

But the other 15% can make my life a mini hell-on-earth.

I know this is off-topic from health, but for my mental health, read and remember these thoughts below as you delve into Christmas shopping, Hanukkah shopping, grocery shopping, or what have you.

Remember that you are interacting with a human being. Not a machine. Not an animal. A person. Someone who deserves respect. That means that "please" and "thank you" are good words to use.

Exercise patience. Maybe you will wait 5 minutes instead of 4 minutes for your usual espresso drink. Maybe the lines are long. Maybe they were out of something in your size, or the cashier is new and has to ask questions. Breath in. Breath out. Calm down.

Please, get off your cell-phone. Call the person back, set it down for the transaction, send it to voicemail. The cashier does not think you are cool because someone is calling you. Seriously.

Don't sweat the small stuff. This time of year can turn your average laid-back person into a caroling-deal-chasing-zombie...trust me, I've seen it happen. The drive to buybuybuy can suck the fun out of what should be a winter wonderland.

You may not be in charge of everything, but by golly, you can control yourself. You get to decide your level of calm, and how you will live. Focus on the important things (which aren't things, but people, time, and feelings) and let the craziness go.

Remember that it is the thought that counts, and the heart behind that thought that really matters.

And seriously, get off your cell-phone.

What can I say, I've got good jeans:)

2009-11-14T10:34:00.001-08:00

So this is me almost 3 months ago, on a very exciting trip to Ikea (wait, aren't all trips to Ikea exciting? Answer: YES.) I consider the dress I am wearing my Kirstie Alley dress. You know how she had a legion of those long cotton dresses for when she was overweight? This was my go-to dress for when nothing else fit right. It hugged and flowed in all the right places, which was a bonus this summer since my capris were a wee-bit tight, and I didn't want to drop money on depressingly large-sized new clothes.

But I have been trying this new thing where I eat less and move more (maybe you noticed:), and these days I feel a little more like this:

Aren't we awesome? I don't quite have my brother's drummer arms yet, but I certainly have less arm than 2 months ago, and a little definition in my shoulders...and you might note the lack of a double chin?

The Pants Dance

I have been belting all of my pants to fit my slimmer body. For the past year and a half I have bought only one style/make/brand of jeans, but they are spendy, so I have been waiting to buy new ones until I have saved up money for moving out, college loans and health insurance.

Ross came through for me though! I was doing a quick walk-through, on the lookout for a new belt, and I saw a pair of size 18 jeans that was one sale for 12 dollars. Worth a try?

YES! I am down two sizes since I last checked! So this is me and my new jeans(they stay up without the help of a belt!)

It feels great to be fitting into all of my clothes properly! And just as inspiration for even smaller sizes, one of my amazing/talented/fantastic/wonderful friends sent me inspiration jeans!!!

They are some of her old ones, size 10, and one day....I will fit in them.

Right now, I can only get them up this far. No worries! I will be trying them on every 5lbs so we can see them get closer and closer to actually fitting over my thighs, zipping, and buttoning! (And I will officially have my first pair of jeans with sparkles on the ass:)

So here is to sparkles on the ass, 80's dancing with friends, late-night food-carts, walking in downtown, and jeans! Have a great Saturday!

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

2009-11-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

I lost weight! Is this some dirty trick? I have a stressful week, stray from the healthiest choices, and am rewarded? I was hoping to find gain, so I could beat myself up and learn from my not so great choices...really.

But the scale tonight said 207lbs!! Holy Mole, that is such a low number! If I make it my goal to lose an average of 1lb per week thru the holidays (aka: booze/binge season), I could weight 200lbs as I ring in the new Year!

So many exclamation points!! I didn't know how important the Biggest Weight-Loss Challenge would become to my health, but it makes me sad to think it will be over before Christmas. We all cheer each other on, and make faces as we do painful exercises our instructor smiles and talks thru:)

(This is what I look like when I work out;)

So what have I done right in the past week? I haven't been hitting the gym too much for fear of becoming sick again. I wanted to give my body a chance to fully recover, so I walked...and walked...and hiked...and walked. (My dog really likes this trend:)

I also make sure I always have a healthy snack with me. Some people can "forget" to eat, or go for more than 5 hours without eating.

Hahahahaha!

Yeah, right.

If I don't eat about every 4-5 hours, I get cranky, tired, and my jokes fall flat:) Some common snacks I keep around are apples, oranges, string cheese, mini packages of teddy grams, edamame, or trail mix (which can be very high in calories and sugar, so be careful with portions). I also have started drinking green tea at least every other day. I don't know much, but I know it is healthy for some reason, and with some honey, it is pretty tasty!

What do you snack on through-out the day?

Excuses, Excuses

2009-11-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

I have been waiting all week for the blogging mood to strike. Waiting for a fantastic positive message, waiting for more to write than simple (boring) updates, and I realized something today...

I didn't really want to blog because I have been off in my health plan, and I didn't really want to share that. I want to be strong, and above food cravings, and past the emotional eating! But as I keep typing and reminding myself, I am HUMAN.

I like to think that to have a balanced life means balancing good and bad...okay, a little less bad than good would be great:) I have good days, I will have bad days. I will resist, I will give into temptation. I will exercise, I will watch an entire season of Veronica Mars in one week. (924 minutes=15.4hours=too much squinting to watch tiny people on my computer)

So here is my catch-up, my truths, my week in retrospect:

The good news is...I lost another 1.5lbs! I currently weigh 209.5lbs, the lowest I have weighed in the past 2 years! To celebrate, I went out and bought 2 new DVDs. I wanted some funny in my life, so I got She's the Man (so bad it's good), and Beyond the Pale (stand-up by Jim Gaffigan). Woot woot for some laughter to come!

The bad news is...I talked more than I walked this week. My mouth was running off with ideas, suggestions, theories and opinions about weight-loss and health, but I wasn't living what I was saying. So I am trying to spend more time living my ideas than telling them to other people.

I ate...while distracted with media. I would either be on my computer or watching Veronica Mars, and I slipped right back into my old habit of munching while watching. We have all read articles about turning off the media (except for music) when we eat so that we can enjoy the tastes more and be conscious of what is going in our mouth. I don't want to slip back into un-aware eating. I don't want to be a couch potato. I want to be healthy. Blegh.

I was discouraged...about being sick. A girl can only cough so much!

I made...chicken soup! With veggies and brown rice! It turned out pretty well, and I felt ultra-healthy after eating it for lunch:)

I saw...a Jeep Cherokee with real deer antlers on the front. Truly. It was a sight to behold.

I appreciate...the beauty that is around me. The pouring rain and thunder that scared my dog. The silly community-theater play I saw with my parents. Having comfy shoes and dry socks.

I will...be kind to myself. Challenge myself. Pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving.

A Fine Foggy Day

2009-11-03T14:51:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice about being sick and working out! What I have been trying to do is be active every day without doing anything intense, and get lots of rest. And today I was able to talk in the morning without sounding like the 90 year old woman who has been smoking since she was 13! Imagine, a whole shift without using a cough drop!

On Friday I was able to workout with a friend and we swapped ab exercises and ideas. While I love listening to my ipod while working out, it was a great change of pace to talk while on the elliptical (I didn't even notice the 45minutes whiz by) and have a knowledge exchange.

It is so much easier to achieve a goal when you have help and support. When people know what you are trying to do, they can HELP YOU. And we are humans. Flawed humans. We need help:)

Especially with the holiday season fast approaching! How can you be healthy and happy when the only way to make your aunt Edna happy is to ask for a second helping of pecan pie with whip cream? How can we integrate new, healthier recipes into family traditions? Where do we find the time for movement when we are exhausted at the end of the day? All these answers* and more, coming soon to a blog near you!

*answers are subjective, and do not apply to everyone. As a matter of fact, they might be very individual, but can still serve as jumping points for you to answer the questions for yourself:)

I'm feeling like a natural woman...

2009-10-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

You know what I love about being a woman? Okay, there are a few things, but one of the great bonuses of being female is the curves. Not the curves of my excess weight, but the natural curve of the hips and chest.

I have gotten into the habit recently of standing with my hands on my hips, because it is so exciting to me to have a waist again! For so long all I had was rolls of fat at different heights. But this is great. I feel more confident and capable, like a super woman! (Now all I need is a phone booth and a bodysuit/cape...on second thought...hold the body suit...not enough confidence for that yet:)

You know what else is great? My WEIGHT!

ahem.

I now weigh 211lbs.

211lbs! Or, in caps, @!!LBS! (1 more pound until I get 2 new DVDs...dare I start thinking about which ones I will get?)

In the past week of losing 4 pounds, I have had food poisoning and a cold, so circumstances were not primed for eating a lot, but wow. I feel like I am constantly (happily) surprised at weigh-ins. Every week I wait for something to go wrong. I step on the scale dreading a higher number.

And then I see results. Results for the hard work I am putting in. Results for bashing through the excuses, choosing to move, and moderate eating. These results are fueling my journey, and will hopefully inspire me when I hit plateaus. So here is to green tea with honey, rainy days, long walks with my dog, and curves!

Being Sick

Last Thursday I got intense food- poisoning. The next 24 hours were an unexpected detox that left me a little weak. Saturday I felt great again, and was able to do a workout at the gym that went something like this: 20min fast walking on the treadmill, then 15 min on the StairMaster, then 15 min on the reclining bike. ( intense, right? I'm calling it my mini-trinity:)

But Sunday I woke up with a sore throat (after a night of drinking with my brother and sister:). That sore throat steadily progressed into a cough/cold that kept my home from work for a day, and has me a little tired.

Now, the problem is, what do you do about working out and eating when you are sick? Most of my exercise lately has been dog walks of 1-3miles long. I take it at my own pace and slow down when I get tired.

When I get sick though, I crave not-so-healthy food. So I have had some M&Ms, ice cream, chips (gasp!), and some bigger meal portions than necessary. (I also made Moroccan Chicken Pot Pie! I love it so much, but the crust is butter and flour times one billion! Oh well...it tastes like moroccan air:)

What's funny is that I was feeling down about some of my food choices, and then I realized that my choices now are still SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE CHOICES I WOULD HAVE MADE 2 MONTHS AGO.

I forget how far I have come (33lbs, to be exact). I am not perfect. I am a work in progress. Aren't we all?

GOALS

1) Fergie Work-out....I don't know if I can last a full hour at a 15% on the treadmill, but I am going for 30 minutes.

2)Add 5 minutes to every workout....it's like doing an extra exercise session every week! This might mean extending my cardio, but I might also take that time to fit in some extra abs time, or try the rowing machine again. Try this out yourself, and let me know how it goes!

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." -Maya Angelou

Fergalicious

2009-10-27T17:08:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love Fergie? She sings in one of the best groups of our time, she can handle a solo career, and she is beautiful without being a size zero or bland!

I was going through more old magazines and I found an article on her that I love. (keep in mind that this article is almost 4 years old, and I do not speak personally for Fergie. You might find it hard to believe, but I have never met Fergie personally...doesn't mean I don't rock out to her on my ipod!)

She talks about how she is very strict with her regular diet, but will, every once in a while, eat pizza, or drink some wine. She talks about body image, turning 30 years old, and scheduling in work-out time, but my favorite part of the article concerns her workout.

"Her favorite way to break a sweat? 'Walking for an hour on the treadmill at 2.5mph and a 15% upgrade.'"

WHAT?! That is crazy! So crazy, I just might try it. Remember that there are multiple ways to break a sweat and get moving. You don't have to be a runner to rock on the treadmill, just get a good incline going and stick with it!

I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends. ~James Boswell

2009-10-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

So this is a random pictures/stories/crafts post, so enjoy!

The best news is that: My sister is home! She goes to school in WA D.C. Too far away. At least we have unlimited minutes between our phones. And I don't know if I told you guys yet, but I love my siblings. They hard-core rock. Like my little brother? He is center snare for the highschool marching band, and even though he is an 18 year old guy, he has good moments:)

Here we are at his last high-school football game!

So...we wrapped my sister's room in ugly wrapping paper as a homecoming surprise! And then we dog-piled...because we are cool like that.

This is my sister and I in awe of the bad decor in a B&B we were staying at...seriously? SERIOUSLY?

So this morning I got a little crafty. And it only took 30 minutes! All you need is a corkboard(or a fridge front, or a wall to tape things on:), some scissors, old magazines, and you are set!

I had been thinking about making an inspiration board for a while, and then was convinced when I say what Skinny Me had done. So I gathered my many old magazines and started cutting. And this is what I ended up with:
I choose real looking women, and people moving, and yes, that is Jack Black dressed as Nacho Libre in the upper left corner...who wouldn't want to be a rocking-comedian-cute-musician? In a cape?

Okay, I can see I am alone in this argument:)

So the last portion of this delightful-sunny-sfternoon post is about my breakfast. I think my sickness was some intense food-poisening, because I feel great now. Woot! And this morning I had an all-star breakfast.

Can I just say, I love oat bran? Not as soupy as farina or cream-of-wheat, but smoother than oatmeal. Then I sprinkled some walnuts, dried cherries, plain yogurt, and brown sugar on top. ( the dried cherries were a splurge as WINCO the other day:)

BAM! My awesome breakfast! Paired with a little black coffee and the best hydration out there: H2O.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!!!

Sickness and Success

2009-10-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

Good health and happiness to you all! I am currently sipping blue gatorade, trying to restore my body that does not want anything to do with food. I am listening to my body (goal from last week) and it is saying, "take it easy. Slow down for a bit. Sleep." Fair enough body, fair enough.

In other news: I know you have been dying to hear the results of my most recent weigh-in, right? Well hold onto your seats folks, because Tuesday I stepped on the scale, ready to see 219lbs...and instead saw:

215!!!

yesyesyesyes!

I think I really pushed myself with working out the past week, including a "last-chance-workout" on Monday that consisted of my jogging/walking on the treadmill for 52 minutes. I don't think I have ever spent that long on the treadmill. Luckily, I was listening to the Avenue Q soundtrack. (quite possibly my favorite musical ever. Look it up.)

Such a huge weight-loss does concern me a bit though. I think some of it has to do with womanly bloating and body weight-fluctuations, so my goal for the next weigh-in is to maintain that loss. Especially now that I am sick and might not be able to work out as much.

Oh, and I finally had spaghetti squash!! The first way I tried it was with olive oil and a mix of cumin, curry, and a bit of red pepper. It still tasted really squashy (what did I expect?). But I was determined to make something tasty.

My second attempt was lightly sautéing artichoke hearts, peppers, onions, some bits of chicken, and then adding in 1/2 cup of low-sodium v8 as the "sauce." MUCH BETTER.

I am trying to think of my "diet" as an opportunity to get creative with my food. What can I make that is healthy? That doesn't taste bland? That doesn't taste like diet food? That everyone in my family can enjoy? It forces me to make a wider use of all the spices I have available in the kitchen. Except for rosemary. blegh.

So go be creative! Make something new! Concoct a new dish! Redo a bland sandwich! And spice up your life!

The Sunday Funnies...

2009-10-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Hope everyone's weekend went well, I had some cake, some walks, some struggles with what to eat, but ultimately, I had a good time:) I just wanted to share wonderful video with y'all. Hope it helps you on your road to success and health!

Rawr!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSA-1tZZTPM

Who is Loser Girl?

2009-10-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I like a good stretch every now and then.

An extra post today! What fun!

I realized that my favorite blogs to read are the ones where I know some things about the blogger. And then I realized that there are a few people reading this blog who don't know me in real life! (how cool is that? Way to connect us, internet!) And y'all who know me wouldn't mind reading some random things about me, right? Right!

I now present to you, a random getting-to-know-me list:

I am 22. Yep.

I graduated from university in May with an English degree...like I was ever going to get a job with that:) And what a fine, healthy economy we graduated into...ahem.

I work as a barista, making espresso drinks for the masses. This means at least 4 days a week I am on my feet for 8 hours straight and working within 10 feet of a pastry case at all times...yay for burning calories in an active job! Boo on the pastry case:)

I live my parents at the moment....ouch. I actually really love my family, and living at home makes it easier to have good food on hand, as well as support and the cutest dog in the world. While I am hoping to move out soon to be closer to work, I really can't complain.

I love traveling. And books. And baking. And singing. And musicals, and hiking, and plays, and movie kiss montages on youtube, and the rain, and mountains, and the ocean, and games(like Clue and Apples to Apples, not mind games:).

While generally pleasant to people, I get pissy when I am driving...especially if you change lanes without signaling. If you do that, and notice the driver behind you gesturing wildly with her hands and looking peeved, wave...it's me!

The Pacific Northwest is the best region in the world. If you disagree, I will fight you.

Or I will let you have your own opinion on a very subjective subject...

But seriously, it is.

I gotta feeling.....oooooo!

2009-10-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

Speaking of good songs, I listened to the Freaky Friday soundtrack the other day during my workout, and I was pleasantly surprised! It's no Black Eyed Peas, Queen, or rousing Beethoven symphony, but most of the songs have a good loud drum beat you can climb stairs to...you can also motivate yourself by thinking of lil ol' Lindsay Lohan and the path her life has taken...chuckle to yourself, then focus on making your life awesome, yet dignified:)

I weighed in this week at 220lbs: new sports bra, here I come! Good timing too, I'm starting to like jogging.

I'm going to be honest, I was a little disappointed at the weigh-in. One pound? I've done better than that every other week! But.

I lost one pound even though I went to a oktoberfest themed birthday party, ate out with family, and had the urge to hibernate. I lost that pound in a regular week of living...which means I am changing the way I live my life. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I love the extra energy I have when I eat right and exercise, and I need all the extra endorphins I can get! (I work in customer service...'nuff said.)

But this journey is also a letting-go of my old self. The old-self who would eat all the oreos, who would watch more tv. The old-self who had a pretty face, who was the perma-single funny friend, never the love interest. I could stream-of-conscious on this subject for a while, but I will limit myself to this: I am nervous about this new life I am creating, but I know it's the best shot I have at the life I want.

As for the past weeks goals, I did go jogging twice, but I only made two new recipes. No problem, I can do the other two this week. The two new recipes I helped concoct (new to me, that is) are the red cabbage and apple slaw, and a curry/coconut/cumin/pumpkin soup. I also now have some spaghetti squash in the house, so I am looking forward to making something with that for the first time!

So, new goals for the coming week:

Two new healthy recipes!
Listen to my body. I will continue to push myself, but I don't want to push myself to exhaustion or sickness. Then again, maybe this goal should include not listening when my body says, "it's hard. I don't know if I can do level 6. Maybe you should just take it easy." Hells no! I know that my body is capable of great things!

Hope everyone is rocking the socks off of this week and respecting themselves with healthy food, good exercise, and a wee bit'o'fun!

My 25th post!

2009-10-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

Hello! Sorry about the little break there in blogging. I might be a bit a procrastinator at times. The kind who left all her school projects until the night before the due date...the adrenaline rush really kicks in at 4:30am while drinking a peanut butter soy latte! (so delicious, so rare)

I have so much I want to share and discuss, it’s hard to know where to begin. Oh wait, I know.

Thank you.

No, really....THANK YOU. This blog has been a source of motivation and inspiration for the last 8 weeks, and I am so grateful for all the support and comments you give. Friday and Saturday were the first days in a long while that I truly did not feel like working out. Maybe it was the cold crisp weather I love so much putting me in hibernating mode, maybe it was complacency with my weight-loss, whatever it was, I was not feeling it.

But then I was sitting on the couch Friday evening, watching the telly, and I thought, “Wait a second. If I don’t work out, I have to write a post about not working out. I don’t want to share my laziness with others!” And so I got off my butt and went to a Latin Rhythms class and generally made a fool of myself trying to shake my hips in decidedly un-wasp-ish moves. What fun!

Saturday I put off exercising until 9:15pm. (generally, you shouldn’t work out to close to your bed time, otherwise it might be difficult for you to fall asleep...and trust me, those zzz’s are important for weight-loss and health in general.)

What awesome activity did I do Saturday night, you might be asking yourself? Why, I made red cabbage with apples while doing arm workouts and dancing to the Spice Girls! And all in the comfort of my home kitchen...with my dog thinking I was trying to play some new game with her. Anyone ever try to do crunches when a dog is near? It’s a challenge.

Am I too cool or what? Bet you wish that had been your Saturday night:) Both of those exercise moments were because I didn’t want to let you, or myself, down. Yesterday I went jogging, and today I kicked my own butt with 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the Stairmaster, and 2.5 minutes on the rowing machine. (okay, 2.5 minutes on the rowing machine might not seem that impressive, but my shoulders and back were killing me...maybe my form was off? Or maybe my rowing muscles are non-existent...)

I see my Mondays as a “Last Chance Workout” of sorts, since I currently weigh-in on Tuesdays.

So once more, THANK YOU. I hope you are inspired every once in a while by me, this blogationship should be a two way street! (no, I did not just make up a word! Blagationship is totally legit...don't quote me on that:) Have a wonderful week!

Oh happy days!

2009-10-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

I love the fall. The smells, the crisp air, the crackling leaves and bonfires. At least, I love fall until the Pacific Northwest turns grey for 6 months...just kidding! I love the cold and drizzle. And rain boots. And wet pavement. And the sound of busy windshield wipers. I also love pants, sweaters, and scarves, so woot for the lower temperatures!

Okay, I got distracted by autumn. I really just wanted to let you know my goals for the week.

Go jogging at least twice.
Find 4 new recipes to try...and make them.

I've already started on both of these, and am going to keep updating my Fitday profile as well, so I can do random calories checks. And now for a beautiful picture of Mount Hood, from http://www.williampatrickmoore.com/Oregon-gallery.html

You don't drown by falling in the water.

2009-10-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

You drown by staying there. - Edwin Louis Cole

So don’t worry if you make an unhealthy food choice, or don’t work-out one day. The important thing is that you change your behavior. I didn’t get to 244lbs because I overate and didn’t exercise for a day. I grew to 244lbs because I stayed in the same rut for a long time. Now I just have to get in a healthy rut:)

At my Biggest Weight-Loss class this week, we did a grueling circuit that included running around the track holding a long 2x4 above our heads with a partner. And there were stairs, and lunges, and squats, and fun core work outs. At one point, as I was huffing and puffing on the stairs, a woman came over to me and said "I know your trainer, her workouts are like boot camp. She will work your ass off!", and I said, "I hope so!"

Being a part of this team holds me accountable at a time I usually would start plateauing and getting bored. I also feel energized to be on a team in general! We cheer each other on, share our losses, and exchange our weight-loss techniques. We even got matching tee-shirts! I love being a dork!

Speaking of losses, I lost another 2lbs this past week, meaning I am 221lbs. (cue happy dance) So my grand total of weight-loss so far is 23lbs!! That means I have lost more than my age in weight!( I am 22)

On my jog today (yes, you read that right) I thought, “only 67lbs to go!” And I reminded myself that this life I am choosing to live is not about 67 more pounds. It is about the choices I make on a daily basis, it is about moving more, it is about the next pound, not the many pounds after that. So slow and steady wins this marathon. Channel the tortoise...

Update like you mean it!

2009-10-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

So my goals for the past week were 1)do something crazy, and 2)open a Fitday account. I did accomplish both of my goals, but in different ways than I first thought. It’s funny how life takes your plans, does a little twist, and says, “now what?” But enough of my waxing poetic (nothing about waxing is poetic...where did this saying come from?) Here’s what happened:

I went jogging. *gasp* No seriously, I did. For the first time in at least a year and a half. I strapped myself in with two bras, leashed the dog, and alternated walking and jogging for 45 minutes. How CRAZY is that!? Now it gets insane because...I loved it.

(This is me striking a happy Losergirl pose in the backyard, while my

dog tries to catch flies in her mouth. Inspiring, no?)

I had been inside and driving all day and the crisp fall air combined with twilight jazzed me up and I kept wishing I could go longer! Too bad my dog had eaten a dozen muffins (including paper wrappers) the night before and threw them all up in the street. Good times, good times my friends:)

I started an account on Fitday, and am still learning how to use it. I found out that I am eating around 1800 calories on days I don’t have social events, and then I eat (and drink:) around 2100 calories. My intake also fluctuates with my work schedule, so that is something I have been more conscious of. One thing I appreciate about Fitday is that they do a pie chart for every day, letting you know how many of your calories come from fats, proteins, and carbohydrates.

I have to be honest, I don’t enjoy calculating all this stuff out. Every once in a while is fine, but I prefer to just be mindful about what I eat, and try to exercise. This may change over time and as it gets more difficult to lose weight, but I focus on my breathing and sweat intensity on the elliptical, instead of a certain caloric number. And my food choices are focused on healthier foods (fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean protein and some tasty fat) in moderation, instead of a gaol number. That works for me.

So figure out your own method. How do you judge your health? Do you count calories expended/caloric intake? Are you cutting back on carbs? On sugar? Not eating late at night? What is your personal living healthy plan?

How to burn like Earth, Wind and Fire

2009-10-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

So how do you burn 500 extra calories? Every person burns a different amount of calories during exercise, depending on weight and intensity. I know that if I walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes at an incline of 6% going 4mph, I will burn 351 calories. But someone lighter would burn less.

Here are 2 calculators you can use for figuring out how many calories you are burning: http://www.hsc.edu/fitness/calculators/calories.html or at: http://www.self.com/calculatorsprograms/calculators/

Playing Frisbie for 49 minutes can help me burn 501 calories! The question is, do they mean ultimate Frisbie, Frisbie toss, or Frisbie golf? I need details!

And if you are more of a chart person, check out this one: http://www.nutribase.com/exercala.htm

The chart is by weight, and the calories listed are per 30 minutes of exercise. It’s nice to know that playing ping-pong for 2.5 hours would burn 500 calories:)

Or you can just find three 500-calorie burning workouts in this article: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/cardio/no-treadmill/workouts-burn-500-calories/ There is one one the Stairmaster, one for the stationary bike, and one on the treadmill.

Remember that the less you weigh, the harder you will have to work to lose a few pounds. Try upping intensity or duration a few times a week from where you are right now, and being a bit more nit-picky about what you eat.

And how do you Excuseproof your workout? An article I read recently (from the February 2009 Self) recommended this strategy: Grab a few index cards and write down your biggest get-fit barriers on the front of each card. Then flip the card over and brainstorm all the ways you could bust those blockades. For example, if your top card reads, “I’m too tired,” the flip side might read, “I can go to bed earlier. I can play ‘Stronger’ by Kanye West really, really loud. I can treat myself to a shot of espresso. I can call my honey for a pep talk.” Now stash those around you and pull them out next time you feel the big “but” coming on (because that but might lead to another, bigger butt...I’m just saying:)

The Big Skinny

2009-10-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick book recommendation for y'all (who has been watching Reba? Me...enjoy my typing drawl:)

The Big Skinny: How I Changed My Fattitude

by Carol Lay

It's a graphic novel about this cartoonist's journey to a lower weight and better health! How cool is that? Unlike hefty health books that overwhelm me with information, Carol Lay focuses on her personal journey, and basic healthy choices we can all make. It includes recipes and some ideas for exercise, and it talks about the emotional hurdles we take on when trying to lose weight and keep it off. Did I mention it's funny?!

While I don't think I could be as disciplined as she is (she writes down every single calorie as she goes...and seems to reject alcohol altogether...hahahahahaha...right;), I love how she puts herself out there with this book. She is real woman with a real goal. Check it out from the Library sometime, or check out the website: http://www.thebigskinnybook.com/ for a new kind of health reading!

Loser Girl out!

More on the BEE

2009-09-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

I was discussing BEE (basal energy expenditure) with my friend Lauren, and felt like we were running in circles about what it means. The site I gave to help y'all to calculate your BEE is a wee-bit confusing. After reading more internet resources, I would like to share with you what The Free Dictionary has to say:

BEE is, "the amount of oxygen consumed while resting and fasting, extrapolated to 24 hrs, roughly equivalent to 25 kcal/kg. BEE is used to determine an individual's caloric needs. BEE is multiplied by level of activity–eg, 1.2 for bed rest; 1.4 for moderate activity and by an injury factor–1.2 for pneumonia, surgery, 1.3 for major injury, 1.5–1.6 for severe sepsis. "

Now, go to this website and figure out your base BEE: BEE Calculator

The next step is to multiply that number by 1.2 for bed rest, 1.4 for moderate activity, or by injury level. (go for 1.3 if you are just living your daily life). The number you now have is how many calories you can consume a day, at your usual activity level, and maintain your weight.

So my body BEE is 1863. That is how many calories a day I need in order to break even...if I am only breathing and doing nothing else. Yeah, right:) My activity level is about moderate, so I multiply 1863 by 1.4, and come up with 2608. That number seems shockingly high, but if I am active and overweight, I will need more calories to maintain.

If I weighed 170lbs, and none of my other factors changed, my BEE would be 1608, and I would need to consume 2251 calories a day to maintain that, at a moderate activity level. Is this making more sense? I hope so. Stick with me, now we are getting to the good stuff!

Now. I am not trying to maintain, I am trying to lose. One pound a week, to be exact. And one pound of fat=3500 calories. So in order to lose one pound a week, I need to cut an average of 500 calories a day out of my diet...or exercise to burn 500 extra calories...or split it down the middle, eating 250 calories less than usual and exercising to burn 250 more.

I have been shooting for about 2000 calories a day, and that is a good choice for me. Each person needs a different combination of exercise and healthy eating to lose 1-2lbs a week, so figure out where your 3500 calories are coming from, and take it one day at a time!

The Circuits of Life

2009-09-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

Nice title, eh? Unfortunately, my post has very little to do with The Lion King...so sad. What this post is really about is: circuits! So much fun!

I have done 2 circuits in the past 24 hours, one with my biggest loser team, and one this morning called “Power Pump.” Both exhausted me, but Power Pump chewed me up and spat me out. SInce it was a mid-morning class, I was expecting a class of young moms, the random senior citizen, and maybe one guy. No problem, right?

Fact: The class is a mini boot camp that includes sprinting, skipping, stairs, push ups, jump squats, step lunges, and jump ropes...all done by men and women who look like they belong on the cover of a fitness magazine.

Fact: My face might have reached the color of a perfectly red, ripe tomato. And I might have soaked my shirt with sweat. And my triceps might be burning. But I had a good time...seriously. I pushed myself, and did the best that I could (because there was no way I could compete with the sprinters in the class!).

The class made me think of all the reasons I don’t usually enjoy high-intensity aerobics...which brings me to:

The bounce house that is my chest. If I had $75 for a great sports bra, I would snatch one up, but my selection is limited to whatever they sell at stores like Target and Kohl’s. Not the best for a large chest. Especially because *cue rant* the average sports bra doesn’t do a damn thing! It makes my shoulders hurt, has less support than a regular underwire bra, and smashes my chest into an oval lump! Every time I jog or jump I am tempted to work some magic with duct tape, just to keep everything still...don’t doubt that I would!

But the duct tape can wait, because my reward for reaching 220lbs is a great new sports bra! And I can almost taste that 220lbs, because at weigh-in this week I saw 223lbs on the scale.

I have lost 21 lbs!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Only 3 more pounds until I can buy a sports bra that locks and loads what needs to be locked and loaded:) Want to know what my rewards are for each weight? Look at the list below! Off to have your own adventure? Enjoy this quote from The Biggest Loser show: “I want to do great things...And to do that, I need to do great things for myself.” Do something great for yourself!

Rewards for Weight-loss

240- a new album from itunes to pump me up! (I got the Black Eyed Peas:)

230- new gym shoes (still working on finding the right pair)

220- great new sports bra!!

210- 2 new DVDs

200 (199 is halfway to my goal!)- professional massage

190- a special class of some sort (maybe dancing?)

180- a new fitness accessory of some sort

170- outdoor trip

160- 2 new albums for more motivation!

154- plan a trip to visit one of my siblings (Washington D.C. or New Zealand:)

Goals for gasp Week Six!

2009-09-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

Almost a month and a half! Eating healthy and exercising are starting to feel like a natural part of my everyday life. So I am patting myself on the back today. Which is not as pathetic as it sounds:)

I have two goals for this week:

1)Start an account on Fitday.com (thanks for the tip Mandie!). It is a free calorie counter and exercise tracker! I don't think I am ready to give up my physical paper food journal, but it would be good to input random days for calorie checks. It also makes me feel very official and organized:)

2)Do something crazy! No really, I'm serious. I want to do an odd exercise this week, something out of the ordinary. Maybe roller-skating with friends, or getting my brother to the gym with me (yeah, not gonna happen), or playing frisbee golf! Time to mix it up.

Loser Girl, on a mission!

Dancing on a Dreary Day

2009-09-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

I was not very motivated this afternoon. Last night I ate (cue guilty look) 3 skinny cow ice cream sandwiches in one sitting. The good news is that it's the first major not-great-choice I have made in the past 6 weeks concerning food. And I know why I did it (a combination of boredom and guilt...and I was watching Lifetime movie...why do I do these things!? Gah!). But that is still 550 calories I didn't even enjoy that much.

I also worked out my lower body really well yesterday, so everything was sore today, especially after 8 hours of work...and I have planter fasciitis. This means I get some intense heel pain after sitting or sleeping. And I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. And it was overcast. Working out did not sound like fun.

But then I realized that I was just being grouchy...and defeating myself in the process. So I took my dog for a mile walk. Not bad. So I thought, why not try to find a workout on On Demand? Just to try out more of the free shows they offer?

Which is why I found myself shaking my booty and making up my own steps to a workout on the telly...did I mention how much fun it was?! I love dancing, and on a day like today, I was excited to be moving...so yay!

I think the wisdom of today is to start. Put on your shoes, get to the gym, find the trail, and promise yourself 5 minutes. Then realize it would be silly to only do 5...so why not 15? Heck, you say to yourself, I know I can do 30! At a higher level than usual! CHOOSE to change...

and load your ipod up with sweet body-pumping tunes:)

Ahem...

2009-09-27T18:38:00.001-07:00

I just realized that every single paragraph in the previous post ended with an exclamation mark. As a previous English/Creative Writing major, I want to apologize to you all. I will use them only for important occasions from now on! (like just then:)

No birds, just my BEE...

2009-09-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

One of my goals for the past week was to learn more. About anything and everything pertaining to this journey I am on. While I think I got a start on that, it is something I need to continue focusing on. (My other goal was to go on a five+ mile hike, and I did! (Yay for friends, dogs, and rivers!)

Things I have learned this week:

My love of prunes is a wonderful thing! I am proud to come out to you all as a prune-lover. Not just in tarts, but on their own. sweet, sticky, more exiting than a raisin, I learned that they contain “High Fiber and sorbitol (a sugar alcohol that the body metabolizes slowly) keep blood sugar and insulin levels in check...and five prunes have just 100 calories!” -Women’s Health Magazine

My Basal Energy Expenditure...which is not as gross as it sounds, I promise. My BEE is (as I understand it) the base amount of calories I need to get through a day. So my base BEE is 1863. Meaning if I stayed in bed all day and ate 1863 calories, I would also burn them, maintaining my weight. But I don’t just stay in bed all day. I exercise! And for those of you who don’t know, I work in a coffee shop, so about 4 days a week I am on my feet and moving for 7-8hours. Since my activity is moderate, I multiply my BEE by 1.45. So now my BEE is 2701....if I want to maintain my weight....but I want to lose, so I cut about 100ish calories from that number!

And the summary of that whole paragraph is that, if I am calculating correctly, I should be eating around 2600 calories everyday...that sounds so wrong. Doesn’t it? Don’t quote me on that info just yet, I will check it out. In the meantime, feel free to calculate yours at http://www-users.med.cornell.edu/~spon/picu/calc/beecalc.htm

Now for something discouraging. 41.15% of my body is fat....ouch. I know that as a woman, I will always have fat on my body, but 41.15%? That will be re-calculated at the end of my biggest weight-loss challenge, and I hope it is a happier number!

Speaking of the biggest weight-loss challenge (golly, is this post getting long or what?) the second week was good. We did a circuit of random exercises that included running forward with a tube around your waist that your partner was pulling back on...only fun stuff:) I tried some new things, and pushed myself to do that extra tricep curl/squat/crunch. It helps to know there is a group I am accountable to every week. So GO TEAM! And have a delightful week!

PS Just so you know, I will be doing weigh-ins on Tuesdays for the next few months, to coincide with my biggest -weight loss group. S look for new posts on Wednesdays!

My Current Life in Photos

2009-09-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am going to be doing a barrage of posts in the next few days(yay for my awesome new followers inspiring me!), but I thought you might want some eye-candy before I start writing your eyes off...I don't think that phrase worked...but you know what I mean:)

So here, for your viewing pleasure, is a slide show of my life:

This me doing on of my goals for the past week! I went on a hike that turned out being about 5.5 miles...and I got to do it with a delightful friend and THREE dogs. I truly think owning a dog is one of the best things you can do for yourself healthwise, and they are cute and snuggly too!

This is the same three dogs racing ahead on the trail. You know you've done a good job when they are walking at the end of a hike, instead of running...or when they don't really move for the rest of the day:)

Katie and I at the end of Race for the Cure! Check out our sweet shirts! (and ignore the akward woman walking behind us...is she confused by our victory pose?)

This is a treasure my friends. To the naked eye it might look like a simple burgundy binder, but when you open it up...Bam! It's full of weight-loss success stories, tips, exercise plans, recipes, and so much more! I cut up magazines to save the stuff I find relevant or helpful, and semi-organize it in this binder for inspiration and help. That way I'm not dealing with a huge stack of magazines!

Me cooking dinner for my grandma, my mom, my sister, and I in a farmhouse in Iceland...in case you didn't know, I love food. And I really love baking. And bread. Fresh warm bread with butter. I just drooled on my keyboard...akward...

Next post will be about my future goals for the week, what I learned this past week, and other random what-not. For the next few weeks I will be weighing in mid-week with my biggest weight-loss team, so you will get that update later on. Happy Sunday to you all!

Future Perks

2009-09-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

There are some obvious rewards to losing weight. Like better health. And less risk for weight-related diseases/afflictions. And looking good.

And then there are some results that I am particularly exited about, that I have listed below in no particular order (I get exited just typing them!):

-shopping at the same stores as my friends.

-being able to wrap a towel all the way around my body.

-no more chub rub! (ie:my thighs won’t rub together anymore!)

-knowing that I can create and accomplish a goal.

-having more room in airplane seats.

-tank tops and shorts with confidence!

-Not just having a pretty face.

-Being able to buy nice leather boots (my calves are too big to fit at this point in time).

-Having more energy, and get up and GO!

I know that some of these things sound a bit shallow, and related to looks instead of health, but I will enjoy these changes nonetheless. So yay for all the reasons to lose weight!

Can I get a woot woot?!

Month One has been rocked!

2009-09-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

Well look at that, it’s been a month! And I am feeling good. Which is why I was exited, but not completely surprised, to see that my weight today is 228lbs. I have lost 16lbs in the last month with hard work, exercise, and better eating habits.

This past week my friend and I did the 5k walking Race for the Cure, I took my dog for a long walk on the beach, and I attempted the StairMaster AND the elliptical in a 31 minute span. Basically, I have been rocking socks.

But it is time to step it up. I think it is important for me to understand more about the calories I am consuming, and how I am expending them. The first meeting of my biggest loser team was a wake up call to being about my food. What gives me energy, what takes it away, how much should I eat and when? Also, how much do I strength train? How long should my cardio last?

So my goal for this coming week is to learn. Learn how many calories, how much fiber, protein, sugar, and sodium, is in the food I eat regularly. Learn how to organize my exercise schedule. Learn about the healthiest choices I can make for myself.

Oh yeah, and I want to go on a 5 mile+ hike...yeah:) No biggie.

(speaking of goals, I did accomplish last weeks. 1)I did 15 min on the StairMaster, and then 16 min on the elliptical, 2)I got more comfortable with the exercise ball, and 3) I worked on making my snacks work for me.)

The next post will contain more about my first meeting of my biggest loser team, my favorite foods, and the rewards I am giving myself as I lose weight...the biggest reward being better health!

Biggest Weight-loss Challenge

2009-09-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

Howdy folks. It's the fourth week of my "eat less, exercise more" life-plan, and I have some exciting news. I weighed in yesterday, like every Sunday, and was aiming for a weight of 233.3...but instead I saw this on the scale:

230.5

Woah! I did not see that coming. I think mixing up my exercise styles (treadmill, StairMaster, Latin Rhythms, and hiking) and focusing on healthy food and portions made that magic happen.

It really helps to be thinking pound by pound. Instead of freaking out because, "omigod, I need to lose 90 lbs and all my time is just wasted til I get to that perfect weight and then everything will be perfect and I can live my life!", I just take it a pound at a time. I push myself for that one pound, for the added energy I get when I am fit.

And speaking of pushing myself, I have some exiting news. My dad and I have signed up for a 13 week program at our gym inspired by the show, "The Biggest Loser." Each week we will weigh-in with our teammates (there are about 5 teams), and then do a circuit together. I am pumped for the added encouragement, and support.

Goals for this week are: 1)use the exercise ball, 2)do 15 minutes on one machine, and then 15 more on another one, and 3)work on healthy snacks that combined complex carbohydrates, lean protein, and healthy fat. [a snack of this combination wwill keep you full and healthy til the next meal].

Super Trouper!

2009-09-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

I would like to dedicate this post to ABBA, and the Black Eyed Peas. They have gotten me through many a workout, and with a smile on my face!

Updates on the past week and goals:

I loved the Indian food! Okay, maybe not as exciting for you as for me, but it was delicious and I didn’t over eat, and I spent the lunch with a fantastic friend:) So a definite success. (Except for the green sauce that I thought was some sort of Indian pesto. Definitely not. Very spicy. Especially on my iceberg lettuce.)

So I not only tried the Stair Master this week (sweat central), I also tried a Latin Rhythms class. It was basically a room of women following a leader in dance moves, shimmies, shakes, and jumps. Great fun, except for the jumping part…not fun for my chest. That’s all I’m saying about that. Goal #1=achieved!

My dog and I went on a hour and a half hike in the woods on Saturday. She was so excited and energetic the whole time, and that helps me climb the continuous hills and stomp on lesser-walked paths. I like going to the gym and pushing myself, but something about outdoor exercise makes me feel more alive. The fresh air, forest/water sounds, and twisting and turning….ahhhh. Good times. The picture below is of my dog on a hike we went on last year, in the same spot (with another golden and a friend). She is the cutest inspiration I’ve got! Goal #2=achieved!

I wish I had mastered the stairs...

2009-09-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

...but the stairs mastered me!

One of my goals for the week was to try something new at the gym, so instead of veering towards the treadmill this afternoon, I hopped on the StairMaster. Before this afternoon, I had been on the StairMaster once before…at the peak of my health, my sophomore year of college. That was when I was working out for 45 minutes a day, running, and generally kicking my own butt with activity. I could handle the StairMaster then. But now?

Ouch.

I was on there for 25 minutes, at Level 2, and I actually had to stop 5 minutes before I finished, so that I could catch my breath. I am glad no one was working out right next to the heavy-breathing, sweating girl climbing 58 stories! But seriously, I did some intense glistening this afternoon.

And then, just for funsies, I went to a tone and firm class. Where our warm-ups were squats and lunges. And we did about 100 crunches. I like the big mirrors in that group exercise room, because then I can see my face turning different shades of red!

I also like the wisdom our instructor passed on as we were clenching our butts and pulling in the abs, “If you don’t squeeze it, who will?” Harsh, but good motivation:)

Touché Gym…touché..

Sucked into the telly

2009-09-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through channels tonight, and I came across a documentary on the Style network, called "Too Fat for 15." It was about Britain's biggest teenager, 15 year old Georgia. She weighed 462lbs, until she went to a special weight-loss academy/boarding school in North Carolina, where she lost 200lbs.

I love before and after stories. When I read fitness magazines, I flip through most of it just so I can see the before and after article. I like seeing how other women have lost the weight, and kept it off, and the pictures give me inspiration. Especially the ones where the person has one thier old pants, and are pulling out the waist! Just air, where there once was fat...*sigh*

There are so many shows nowdays that focus on before and after, like Biggest Loser, Ruby, or Dance Your Ass Off. I think I am going to start watching some of them, as a steady before-turning-into-an-after (which is what I am aiming to be!) It helps to know that you are not alone. That there are other people just like you who are struggling and, more importantly, succeeding!